- The Evolution of Dating: What's Changed Then vs. Now?
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- How the Dating Scene Has Changed Over the Years!
- How the "First Date" Has Changed in Every Decade Through History
At the turn of last century, dating was still a new concept and law enforcement wasn't sure what to make of it—but they were sure something sordid was going on. A young man and woman meeting in public, him buying her food, drink, and gifts: Ironically, a man and a woman meeting in public was the best way to have some privacy.
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Before dating, courtship involved suitors calling on prospective partners in the family home. And since McMansions were not yet a thing, it meant the parlor or kitchen, where there were always eyes and ears close by. Before dating came into the picture, "courtship" and "calling" were conducted with the express goal of marriage. It was a family affair, as callers meant heirs, property, and happiness. The newly established dating industry, however, had other goals in mind. Marriage would hurt business. This remains true today. Whereas before, the compatibility of prospective couples was determined by land, status, and wealth, with the onset of industrialization and the rise of the middle class, consumer goods became a go-to method for determining compatibility with a potential partner e.
Department stores brought those of humble means into contact with those of wealth. The shopgirl selling fashion learned to imitate her buyers, and labels would come along that could let anyone look rich. The more effectively she sold fashion and beauty culture to her clients, the more mandatory participation in that culture became. It was just what the economy needed.
Courtship in Twentieth Century America , "Dating had almost completely replaced the old system of calling by the mids — and, in so doing, had transformed American courtship. This changed the relationship dynamic between a young man and a young woman, as now it was the man's duty to pay for the date, whereas before it was the woman who decided the terms of the visit.
The fundamental difference between courtship and dating is that of freedom. While traditional courtship had its own set of rules and rituals, dating, as it evolved, became less structured. Courtship was seen as a fundamental part of a well-functioning society.
The Evolution of Dating: What's Changed Then vs. Now?
When people started dating, relationships became less restricted and more personal. So what instigated this cultural shift? In Jodi O'Brien's book, Encyclopedia of Gender and Society, Volume I , she writes, "Different institutions were becoming more prominent in the lives of young men and women, such as school, college, and workplaces, which exposed them to a large pool of potential dating partners. As a result, the purpose of dating was primarily to have fun, not to find a marriage partner.
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However, couples would form after several dates if they were interested in having more exclusive relationships. With the introduction of dating also came the focus on falling in love, rather than finding a society-approved match. In previous years, love was not seen as being of central importance to a marriage, and if it was to come it would emerge after the wedding had already occurred. But with the introduction of dating came an increased desire for romance and love before deciding to commit to marriage.
This concept, explained in depth in The Oxford Companion to United States History , goes, "By the early nineteenth century, couples began to consider romantic love prerequisite for marriage and based their unions on companionship. The era's fiction frequently drew on love themes, while articles, essays, and public orations stressed mutual respect, reciprocity, and romance as ingredients of good marriages.
How the Dating Scene Has Changed Over the Years!
Young courting couples chose their own partners, and their letters focused on romance rather than on the practical matters that had dominated the correspondence of earlier generations. In the s, "going steady" was the term for being in an exclusive relationship. This status was about the relationship, sure, but it was also about standing out amongst your peers.
According to the University of California, Santa Barbara , "Across university campuses, couples publicized their decision to 'go steady' when the man gave the woman an article of his clothing to wear, such as a jacket, sweater, or ring. The way in which two people experienced sexuality when dating also shifted.
How the "First Date" Has Changed in Every Decade Through History
In the earlier part of the 20th century, sex and sexuality were not openly discussed. As author Jodi O'Brien put it, "Sex was desexualized" and reserved for marriage, when the couple had entered into a spiritual union with God. As dating gradually became more about personal pleasure throughout the decades, the expression of sexuality became much more commonplace.
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According to the Oxford Companion to United States History , "The terms 'necking' and 'petting' — the former referring to kisses and caresses above the neck, the latter to the same below it — entered public discussion, giving names to previously unspoken private activities. Between the popularization of rock 'n' roll, and protesting the Vietnam War, s youth culture was hot for revolution.
Not only was it the activities of the US government that young people were resisting, but they were shirking old social conventions as well. If the '50s saw young people starting to experiment with sex, the '60s was the resulting explosion of sexual activity in the name of freedom. For a long time, sex was either not discussed or seen as a kind of enemy — a destroyer of young girl's reputations. But this stopped being the case with the hippie generation. America in the s author Edmund Lindop describes the sexual shift of the period, "For youth of the s, such restrictions were a thing of the past.
Many young women took birth control pills to prevent pregnancy. They freely explored their sexual feelings. Sex before marriage was no longer taboo. Young people extolled the benefits of "free love"— that is, making love without marriage or long-term commitments. There were no rules for dating anymore. Young people did what they wanted, when they wanted, and modern-day "hook up" culture began. The next major change in dating started with the introduction of matchmaking services and the internet. But the concept of online dating was being worked out way before the general public even had access to the internet.
In , two Harvard students created what is known as "Operation Match" to make dating easier for young people. The "World Wide Web" officially became available to everyone in , and online dating websites were soon popping up all over the place: And it was at the turn of the 21st century that people also began using Craigslist as a way of linking up with other people romantically. Shortly after, sites like OKCupid followed.