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- Herpes Dating Online
- Online dating for people with sexually transmitted infections - BBC News
I will never endorse an STI dating site.
Here are a few basic reasons. As time goes on and stigma lessens, there will be less of a demand for these services. Herpes dating apps rely on, profit from and contribute to the social stigma that I am absolutely against. We are not on the same side of this war. They reinforce the impulse of scared, raw people to hate themselves and hide from the rest of the world. These websites enable the self-segregation of the H community in a way that I believe contributes to our invisibility and inertia.
They say to the rest of the world that we belong apart, that we are less than, that we are a hilarious PositiveSingles punch line. They send a progressive message to no one. Denying that is intellectually dishonest. Some of these websites claim to empower their customers.
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Maybe some people use them as a transitional tool before re-entering the wider dating sphere, and hey, cool, whatever. Good for those people.
But they are just as often predatory environments where newly diagnosed men and women but usually women are bombarded with attention. Like other dating services, they can be unsafe spaces for women where harassment and coercion thrive. When you round up a vulnerable and isolated population, create a community space and fail to moderate it or protect your users, you create a dangerous environment.
Herpes Dating Online
These folks would be better served by a support community than a dating app. STI dating services are a product of the stigma, not an empowering way out of it.
Not to mention that people with herpes are diverse. Having a minor skin condition in common is a shoddy foundation for a healthy relationship. I think most people who have had herpes for a few years know this too. The only people who ask me about herpes dating sites have just been diagnosed and are still daunted by the idea of disclosing—a fear I encourage them to tackle instead of pursuing these trap door dating sites. Which leads me to my next concern: Some of them bring on consultants in the sexual health world, but only after the fact, and by and large their founders do not come from our community.
These entrepreneurs may believe they have our best interests at heart, but they will never understand the stigma as well as someone who lives with it. They do not listen to the needs and opinions of this community, and they take funding and attention away from real efforts to provide treatment and testing, and to de-stigmatize sexual health.
STI dating services are almost always unethical money-grabs that prey on what seems like a potentially underserved niche market. This Silicon Valley opportunism is antithetical to real social change and progress. They reach out to me, share my posts and my talks on their social media platforms, and contact my fellow activists when I refuse to collaborate with them.
Online dating for people with sexually transmitted infections - BBC News
You cannot say your service fights STI stigma when it relies on stigma to exist. What we need is better sex education and health care, access to therapy and more representation. These companies are nothing but vultures, co-opting the language of activism.
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- Got genital herpes? Online dating finds a new niche?
Get my name outcha mouth and get off my lawn. After being in what I thought was a monogamous marriage, I discovered my then husband was a sex addict and had been cheating on me from the beginning of our relationship. Although most members are from the United Kingdom, there are also members from the US and other countries. There are a few other active herpes dating sites and apps, but to our knowledge, the ones listed here have the most members.
Many cities and regions all over the world have herpes support and social groups which have social events and activities where members can make friends in a safe and welcoming community. Although these groups are NOT dating services and are primarily for making new friends, many people do meet others who they end up dating, even getting married and having kids. Some of these groups are support or social groups, others are specifically for people who are looking to date others in the general H community. There are few things in life less sexy than genital lesions.
As Michael Carter, president of the Passions Network , a network of niche dating sites, says: Some will only ever get one outbreak; for most, it should only mean taking a few days off sex a few times a year at its worst. Yet not everyone buys into the ideas of STI dating agencies. As one friend tells me: We need education, not alienation. Accessibility links Skip to article Skip to navigation.