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If you try online dating, go with something free, like OKcupid. OKcupid used to have a really compelling argument for why paying for online dating doesn't make sense, mathematically. Apparently they've taken it down from their site since they were bought my Match. There's a theory that if you have to pay for the use of an online dating site that you're more likely to be serious about meeting people for deeper and more meaningful relationships. I'm not sure if I buy that, but I've had experience with both free and paying sites, and it does seem to me that free sites cater to "hook-ups" more than relationships.
But to each his own. As for the higher concentration of weirdos online Who do you think is online? All of those people you see out in the world, including us.
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And please don't say "bingo! Thanks for the advice everyone, really. While I do know of people finding successful relationships online, I don't think online dating is for me. I think I will just stick with meeting people through social activities. I would like to add, from my own experience, that dating someone outside of academia can be difficult in itself, which is why many of us inter-marry.
It also helps that we have the same schedules. Many of my friends who aren't with people in academia list the differences in their careers as a huge issue in their relationships--it's just hard to understand our work from the outside looking in.
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We can study together on weekends, and he understands when I have to stay up late to finish reading for seminar. We find balance, too, in being from different fields, as we can give each other advice from the perspective of an outsider to the field but also, nevertheless, from the perspective of an academic. I actually only have experience dating others from school, which is why I am thinking that dating outside of school might be something I should think about.
While someone from academia might understand what I am going through as a doctoral student, I am also sure that there are people in the outside world who can also be sympathetic. Again, because I don't have experience dating outside of school, I am leaning towards meeting people who are not in academia. I know that for myself, I do get caught up in everything school-related, and forget that there are people who actually exist outside of academia who are just as smart, interesting, fun, and intelligent as those who are in academia.
Oh, I completely agree that there are definitely advantages to someone outside of academia, but it's just been my experience that some of my friends partners don't realize that we do more work than the 12 hours we spend literally teaching, or that grading is actually HELLISH work, or that academic and intellectual pursuit is worthwhile even if "only a handful of people are going to read it. I have never met relationship-worthy guys at a bar unless I knew them beforehand and we just happened to finally talk at a bar.
I have met most of them through sports I play rugby, we're a very tight knit community and I met my current significant other through an engineering design club. I am in an extremely male-dominated field, however, so that certainly helps, although I have only dated one engineer. I have friends outside of school who don't understand that reading and writing actually take time I think you advice definitely encourages me not to shut all doors Thanks for your help!
Yeah, I'm in English Lit and my husband is in History. It's nice because some of our stuff overlaps, but we're separate enough.
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You need to be a member in order to leave a comment. Sign up for a new account in our community. Already have an account? By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy. Officially Grads Search In. Posted July 31, edited. Hi everyone, I normally stay away from very personal topics, like dating and relationships, but I genuinely would like advice on dating while in graduate school.
Edited July 31, by ZeeMore Share this post Link to post Share on other sites. Posted July 31, Glad to help, Zeemore! Posted August 1, Coursera expands online courses for health-care professionals. Colleges announce commencement speakers.
Negotiating the Dating Scene in Grad School
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We've sent you an email with instructions to create a new password. Are you sure you want to deactivate your account? You will no longer have access to your profile. Advertise About Contact Subscribe. You might feel uncomfortable asking a friend to play match-maker; however, if friends know of your dating status actively looking , they might be able to connect you with one of their single friends in the future, by say, inviting him or her to a social gathering where you both will be present. Join a campus organization or volunteer in the community.
Pursue a hobby, but also be strategic. But, think about whether that activity will help you meet potential dates.
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It could — the answer will be different for everyone. There is no shame in online dating. Two words of advice: Be honest with your profile: You want to meet someone who likes the real you, and 2. Always start out with a coffee date so you can meet the person without the pressure that a dinner date entails and without the perception altering effects of alcohol.
Make dating a priority: Try picking one night where you will try something new, or finally say yes to that online date.