- Can You Have a Successful Relationship With Trust Issues?
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Today more than ever, phones are central to our lives.
Dating someone who supports you on social media is a blessing, and it might even boost your self-esteem if your partner likes to gaze at your pages. In many cases—not all, but many—people who experience painful heartbreaks are reluctant to open themselves up to someone again, for fear of history repeating itself. Sometimes, people who have been hurt need a little extra reassurance that they can trust you. In most cases, a guy will be obsessed with your schedule, including the people who are part of it, because he expects you to use any free time you have to hurt him.
There are many ways he could investigate your life behind your back, not just through social media but through talking to mutual friends, or in extreme cases, ringing different places like the reception at your work or your local bar to make sure what you say all adds up. Insecurity flourishes right at the core of many trust issues, and someone who is struggling with that kind of thing will generally want to put their needs above yours.
There might be exciting things that you really want to do in life, like starting a business or studying something new or traveling, and good partners will encourage you to pursue what makes you happy.
A partner who has insecurity and trust issues, on the other hand, will only focus on how those things affect him. Friends can cause a lot of issues in relationships. Particularly in relationships where one person has a problem with trusting the other, even the best and most genuine of friends can sadly trigger arguments.
Can You Have a Successful Relationship With Trust Issues?
Unless he has a good reason, and your friends treat you terribly or are toxic in some way, this is controlling and unacceptable behavior that often stems from a lack of trust, among other things. A classic sign of overthinking, and in many cases, inability to trust, is a person constantly jumping to the worst conclusion. Some people find it easier to lie than tell the truth while other people have this belief that there is always someone better out there—hence the need to sleep around and be unfaithful.
Let's be honest, the percentage of people who are in this category might be high, but remember there are also many people who can be trusted. Very true, however, how can you earn trust if your significant other already doubts you and your motives? A close friend of mine has major trust issues. She has been in multiple relationships where men have not only lied to her but also cheated on her, leaving her emotionally scarred.
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Every time my friend believes that she has finally found a great man who is faithful, he ends up having a wandering eye. Since my friend will suspect that a guy is cheating way before she actually has proof, she will snoop through his things: What she fails to realize is that her insecurities are attracting men who have the ability to be unfaithful. She is attracting the energy that she is putting out into the universe.
If you worry extensively that a man will never be faithful, then guess what By believing that you can and will find someone you trust Entering a relationship doesn't mean that you are expected to put your entire guard down or ignore any red flags that appear. What it does mean is that you have faith in yourself that you are good enough, loving enough, and sincere enough to attract the same back.
Meaning, if you are faithful there must be a significant other for you who is faithful too. The even bigger issue with my friend, she has also cheated in past relationships herself—therefor placing her guilty conscious on to others. Although she has put her cheating ways to the side, until she can forgive herself for her past mistakes then how does she expect to attract a man who will be faithful to her?
We all have experiences from past relationships; great ones and not so great.
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If you continue to carry the fears from your past relationship or your own personal experiences as baggage into your current relationship, that my friends is a great way to push someone out of your life. Learn to work hard to start each relationship with a cleaner slate by leaving the assumption aside until facts prevail will help you develop the tools to build a trusting foundation versus destroying one.
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One guy I dated revealed his trust issues in our relationship after several months of dating. When we first started dating he seemed extremely confident and secure.
Can You Have a Successful Relationship With Trust Issues? | PairedLife
Then as our emotional connection continued to grow stronger, he would start making occasional accusations. First he would accuse me of being attracted to other men OK —and this would happen if I looked in the direction of any man; at a restaurant, at a venue, in the grocery store, at a park, etc.
Then his accusations got worse. He began accusing me of wanting to be with other men to eventually blatantly accusing me of having an affair. Let's keep it real. It is unrealistic for anyone to think that you wouldn't find other people attractive. Finding someone else attractive is completely different than wanting to sexually be with them and actually acting on those feelings.
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My ex was a guy who had a history of cheating. In fact, he had no issue telling me that he not only had cheated on various girlfriends in his past—hence his decisions to be a bachelor for many years, he also admitted that up until being in a relationship with me, he had a hard time imagining having sex with the same woman for the rest of his life. He deflected his insecurities of his past mistakes onto me. He assumed that I would one day cheat on him—the karmic payback for all his misdoings—now that he was finally ready to settle down.
Regardless of how much I tried to convince him that I wouldn't cheat, his insecurities and fears got then best of him and destroyed our relationship. Many occur after a devastation of betrayal from another I dated another guy who was divorced; his wife not only had an affair, but had a full blown relationship with this other man for several month during their marriage.
This guy was completely devastated since his wife expressed time and time again that she was happy in their marriage—even though she obviously wasn't. Because of his past experience, when I would discuss any issues with him regarding our relationship, he would immediately think that I wanted to break-up.
He was so used to being lied to by his ex-wife and what she "claimed" she felt that he programmed himself to assume the worst scenario—a break-up—regardless of anything I said—positive or negative. Whenever he had any doubt in the words I was saying he would put up emotional walls and pull away. I couldn't talk to him about anything negative regarding him or our relationship without him shutting down, not calling me, and showing no effort going forward in our relationship.
When dating a man with trust issues you have to be patient. You may have to offer him reassurance that you love him and that you are there for him. You may have to show more transparency in your relationship than you normally would. For example, you may have to show your boyfriend your call log or tell him who you were talking with. It's also important that your boyfriend work to resolve his trust issues.
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Signs that he's making an effort might include calmly approaching you with any concerns, not making accusations or making efforts to improve his self-esteem, such as mastering a new hobby. If he isn't willing to work to make changes, consider if your relationship is worth pursuing. Stacey Elkins is a writer based in Chicago. She earned a Bachelor of Arts in psychology from Southern Illinois University in Carbondale and a Masters in social work from the University of Illinois in Chicago, where she specialized in mental health.
The database based on Word Net is a lexical database for the English Language. Talking to Men With Trust Issues. Controlling Behavior A man who has a hard time trusting his partner can come across as controlling. Issues of Insecurity Your boyfriend may have trust issues due to insecurity.