- A Partner's Guide to Testicular Cancer - Testicular Cancer Center - Everyday Health
- Dating a testicular cancer survivor
- Our blog about living with cancer in your 20s, 30s and 40s
- Ten years after testicular cancer
I was 20 when I had my first TC 35 years ago. In the 11 years it took to meet the right person, I found that I rarely thought about it when meeting someone new. If it looked like things might get serious, I'd sometimes mention it, just so there'd be no surprises,but nobody ever seemed to really be concerned. So don't worry, you will figure it out as you go along. Dating is no more difficult after TC than is was before. Having had testicular cancer can be a real asset in terms of the perspective you bring to a relationship.
I know that I was very concerned about having a dry ejaculation, but women confirmed that the absence of seminal fluid provided peace of mind for them. Besides, people don't talk about heavy issues early in a relationship anyway. Learn to "lighten up" and have fun, you both will enjoy the experience more. I think it's a personal decision, I had my "Big O" three months ago and since I have only met one Lady that showed some interest in getting to know me. As soon as I noticed that she was asking too many personal questions I chose to tell her. She seemed to have taken it well, never asked anything related to the condition and every sub-sequent question was strictly related to money or material things.
I choose to tell asap, that way I don't dissappoint anybody and they don't hurt my feelings. I have found that many "friends" freaked out and became strangers after my surgery. So I think that it's more a matter of meeting the right person, which; by the way has not gotten any easier. But there's still good people out there, somewhere I'm sure. It certainly isn't any easier to meet the "right person" post TC, it really isn't any harder, either.
Don't let your TC make you think it's more difficult for you than it is for anyone else. All human beings struggle with this, it's just natural to think being a TC survivor makes for an additional hurdle, but it really isn't a factor. The worst it does is make it obvious that there are a lot of women who aren't the "right one" for you. That's not a bad thing, IMHO. Is there a way to know who is curently on the site.
A Partner's Guide to Testicular Cancer - Testicular Cancer Center - Everyday Health
I also explored the TCRC but the stories and info seemed outdated. No, this is not the chat room. Conversations can take a while in this format. The chat room is real time talking to whoever is online at the same time you are, click on the "chat" link on the left side of the page to get into the chat room.
Once in the chat room you can see who is in there, but I know of no way to see who is on the site other than that. From my standpoint the problem is not whether you should tell her, it's that people rarely KNOW that cancer cannot be passed. So if the person in front of you is smart you shouldn't have a problem explaining that this is one of the things you've went through.
In reality people have stronger mind after surviving so a smart girl can see this as a benefit. I noticed that too many of us meet uneducated people because we prefer to go on the dating sites which usually attract a less educated audience. That cancer isn't contagious, at least the folks I hang with.
I don't know anything about dating sites, I've had good luck at bowling alleys, though If you can try to see if you can be tested to see if you still have sperm from other nut insurance should cover it. If you do,than don't sweat it.
Also if you can try to see if you can get a proth--fake one put in. When I met my wife to be at age 32,i told her up front and she was ok with it but I struggle. I don't want to be "that guy" but I have had a much different experience that most of what I have read. I had very unpleasant situations come up. On the first "lady", I told her in the date.
Dating a testicular cancer survivor
She told me that it would take a very special lady to deal with that and left the table. I was on e a double date with two really good friends and I asked them if I had done anything that would have offended and they replied no. The 2nd "lady" I told her on the third date. She then thanked me for wasting her time and asked me to drive her home.
The 3rd lady I didn't tell.
Our blog about living with cancer in your 20s, 30s and 40s
We started to mess around and she noticed my "faux lefty" and freaked out! I told her the situation. She immediately put her clothes on and left. There are more but I think I stated my case.
Remember that the world is not made up of understanding people. You just have to keep pushing forward through the sludge to get to those angels. I don't know what to say, man, you've had some seriously bad luck with the ladies you've met. I could not agree more with everything you have posted on this thread, except for the bowling alley. I have never tried meeting women there. As for the negative experiences dating, I can only agree that is some seriously bad luck. Those are some very cruel women to treat someone that way. I truly think you are better off without them.
It leaves you open to finding someone better for you. That's a bit of a joke, as I met my wife of 21 years by joining a bowling league way back in The first words out of my late husband's mouth, when we met were "I just had prostate surgery" - I said "so? Four years later, I met another wonderful man, and it turned out he'd had testicular cancer 9 years earlier - I was too busy having fun the first time we made love to notice anything missing, then afterwards I noticed the little blue radiation markers on his chest.
That's when he told me about it. Again, I said "so? A year later, I've had 3 surgeries, and probably one more to go, and he's stuck with me through it all and taken care of me wonderfully. We're quite a set He's missing a testicle, and I've got two fake boobs and medicine that wipes out most of my energy and sex drive, and he's so frigging understanding I couldn't love him any more than I do if I'd had to design him from scratch!
- when dating someone.
- how to start dating | Cancer Survivors Network.
- Do single people want to date a cancer survivor? A vignette study.
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- Do single people want to date a cancer survivor? A vignette study.
It is not often you get a woman's input on testicular cancer. Thank you for your perspective and congratulations on finding such a great match!
I wish you the best in your future surgery and treatment. I read all the posts on here, want to say thank you to all you gentleman for being so open and allowing this female to explore your posts. I know this post may not be for here, but your comments on your health , life dating and so on reflects the way I feel. I would like to date again, find someone to understand my "scars" from surgery. How to approach it, what would the date do if opened up with hi " survivor here", or tell my story. I imagine him walking away from me, me being hurt.
Not much more can say other than good luck in your search for the right understanding lady , and I'll continue to wait for my perfect to come around. It's only when it looks like a relationship might be forming that you fill in the blanks.
Ten years after testicular cancer
I appreciate your answer and will take respect in knowing it came from a survivor as well. Thank you and hopefully if I am blessed to find someone, when time comes for it to be serious he doesn't get scared and walk away Think of your cancer experience as a filter that gets rid of guys you don't need to waste your time on.
Nobody worth a second look will walk away just because you had cancer. I appreciate answers coming from you male survivors. Its not easy to be the person on the other end of this infact had a date, well with another couple present the other nite. Nothing personal came up between us, he was nice man, very quiet , shy. We'll be getting together again in couple weeks for a yard bon fire party and maybe we'll see how it goes from there. He doesn't seem to be a man that may run for the hills, this remains to be seen. If it happens to much might want to date someeone that is a survivor In addition, these students also attributed positive traits to the cancer survivor such as being brave and strong, while not assessing the survivor as less healthy which was the case with dating website members.
These results indicate that some of the worries young cancer survivors have expressed in qualitative studies with respect to dating are unwarranted. It may be that the effect of media coverage of having cancer is shifting from something to be feared [ 52 ] to something that can be conquered and beaten [ 32 , 53 ].
These students, on average 19 years old, have probably seen many campaigns and posters providing them with success stories of survivors, while their real-life experience with cancer may be more limited. When young adult survivors start dating a new romantic partner, they can expect that others would prefer them to disclose this early on, specifically after a few dates. This second experiment was designed more rigorously than the first one, as we added information on initial interest in a date, to account for basic liking of the person without knowing their illness history.
Also, we added a profile picture of a person with a similar age to the description. However, both experiments presented a survivor who was beyond the treatment phase. Thus, interest in dating might be different if individuals are faced with potentially dating a cancer patient who is closer to diagnosis and still being regularly checked by their medical providers.