- "The words you need by the people you admire."
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Since I mustered the good sense to send you packing. He's a much more suitable companion than you any day. The guy's pure testosterone! He's a walking hard-on just looking for a hole! Why do palm reading topless? It makes the news easier to take. She could tell me I was going to die in ten minutes, just as long as she told me topless. Your maleness amazes me sometimes.
"The words you need by the people you admire."
Damn Silent Bob, show some heart. If we fell in love, how would you propose to me? Hey, what about me? Aw Gil, just shut the fuck up! Now, I know it's going to be hard to give this stuff up because of it's sentimental attachment Look, if I have any of that crap it's because you brought it over my house and left it there.
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Okay, then let's talk about coming up with a schedule for visitation rights. I figure you can take the odd days, I'll take the even days and weekends. When there's any special feature like a sidewalk sale I've always taken you with a grain of salt. On your birthday, when you told me to do a striptease to the theme of "Mighty Mouse", I said okay. On prom night at the hotel when you told me to sleep under the bed in case your mother burst in, I did it.
And even during my grandmother's funeral when you told my relatives that you could see her nipples through her burial dress, I let that slide. You're sure you saw her get on? Maybe she was getting off Maybe he's calmed down, we'll talk about it reasonably.
Reasonably shmeasonably, you should go over there and give him shit. Brandi is the past my friend. You face forward, or you face the possibility of shock and damage. You should learn to heed your own advice. Where the hell did that come from? What's going on here? Looks like a stage is being erected. What is this monstrosity? Maybe it's for the Easter Bunny pictures. Impossible, the Easter Bunny Court is down at the other end of the mall, it's been there since two days after Christmas.
Where do you get these wonderful toys? I would've made a sexy chick! You fuckers think just because a guy reads comics he can't start some shit? You've probably had a slew of women since her, am I right? Oh, lots of women. Jagger and me, we had a running contest to see who had the most. In fact, last time I checked I was way ahead. And I guarantee you'll be seeing a sailboat, an ocean, and maybe even some of those big-tittied mermaids doing some of that lesbian shit!
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Look at me, look at me, you sloppy bitch! I love the smell of commerce in the morning. Suitor Number Three, what would our first date be like?
Well, uh, first I'd take you shopping to stores you wanna shop in, and then we'd do a little lunch, probably at the Cheese Haus, followed by some golfing. And then at night, we'd take in an opera, probably Die Fledermaus, and then I'd follow it up with a drive to a secluded beach where I'd pop on the radio and we could slow-dance till the sun came up.
That was the biggest load of crap I've ever heard! I mean, look at you. You're the kind of guy who would beg for sex.
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And I should know, we can smell our own. How easily do you quit? Say you wind up with one of us? Hopefully not Rush Limbaugh over here. Well, now, I'm not like Rush Limbaugh. Now you have something against fat people, too? Quint, meet Tricia Jones. They call her "Trish the Dish. S's hand ] Nobody calls me that. You two are retarded for each other. Why don't they ever bring back or remake good shows, like 'BJ and the Bear.
You should see yourself right now - a grown man with his hand down his pants. Yeah, I probably look like my old man. Dude, this one looks like your mom. First you take a run at La Fours with a sock full of quarters. I'd do it, but I pulled my back at humping your mom last night. Okay, you clock him on his headpiece and knock his ass out cold. That's when phase two kicks in. I attack the structure Wolvie Berzerk style, and knock out the fuckin' pin and bickety bam, the motherfucker is rubble.
Hence, no game show. Hey, what's going on in there? I was warned about you. Take it easy before I have you removed from the mall. What the fuck are you talking about? I have some questions that need answering.
Okay Lunchbox, let's try this again. We tie you to the roof and you jump off and sail like a Spitfire passing right over the arch nemesis La Fours. You then swing up to the stage and knock out the pin. And when that's gone the stage is trashed and we go smoke a bowl.
Now get your fat ass up there. And dude, don't forget your helmet. I was going to propose to her. When Jaws popped out of the water. That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard. Too bad I'm not trying to marry you.
I heard that you were going to propose to Brandi Svenning at some theme park. Hell, most of the time I'm just talking out of my ass Yeah, and she also said I had no dick. Which precedes the financial question, proving once more what women really look for. Shithead here watched Empire and Jedi last week and ever since then, he's been trying to do the Jedi mind trick. The crazy fuck thinks he can levitate shit with his thoughts. Dude, don't encourage him. I'd like to free something Look who you're asking!
They look happy, don't they? You say that like it's bad. It means frightened and weak-willed. That was the only part of the letter I thought was complimentary.
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Once I realized the both of you were in the mall together, I decided to set up this little ambush to remove you and your sidekick here from the premises, permanently. Hey, why am I his side-kick? Look, if I had any kind of glow it's because I just got laid. I would look the same had I banged anyone in that elevator Deny it all you want.