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Perhaps due to my Social Worker training, it's a habit to resist locking into any particular initial perception of anyone I meet. I have been wrong too many times in both directions. When I first met my high school best friend Bill, I thought he was a total loser. He's turned out to be a long-term winner. A diamond in the rough.
Speed Dating for Mom Friends
And conversely, I have judged people positively initially, only to altar my thoughts later. A dear San Diego friend recently married a man I probably would have strongly endorsed if I had met him. He turned out to be every woman's nightmare.
A pebble in the rough. After they had over two years of long-distance phone conversations and countless e-mails, they finally spent a weekend together and got engaged, and married one month later. That marriage lasted five months, and should have been put out of its misery after a week.
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Many people seem to be attracted to the idea of "love at first sight. It's my favorite feeling too, but I've noticed it can have a blinding effect. It contributes to our natural tendency to be selectively attentive to only positive things. When the chemistry at a first meeting is off the chart good, we will look for things in the other person to justify the investment our heart has made.
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