But, that said, I fear that those are the exception to the rule as someone above wrote. Most foreign guys in Beijing and maybe girls too have a very short-term approach to relationships because it's almost certain that at least one of you in the relationship will be leaving China in less than a year from the time you meet.
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That doesn't mean that you can't have nice, short relationships but if you are heeding the call of your biological clock, as you said above, I'd recommend looking further afield than the often-insular circle of foreign men in Beijing. So, that leaves you with 0. It may not sound like a lot but at least new batches come in regularly. And I'm sorry but the stubbly leg shaving is ewwwww I mean what are you, some subspecies, like an Wookie? How about you fax that offer to my publicist? And we'll flush it down the toilet in front of you and see if it floats. Thanks to all of those with sensible suggestions.
I didn't think it was likely that I would find my 'life partner' horrid phrase while in Beijing, but I would like to go on a few days. I may well frequent eHarmony and the like after a while. I spent part of my degree in the USA and would quite like to go back there at some point. Ah well, we will have to just wait and see.
Was "choosing" somewhere near the top? Congratulations, you are an iota nearer to self awareness. That's not exactly it. The management firm my company hired McKinsey found that only the women stayed for a few months -- the men stayed for a few years. You really don't need to wonder why there is such a statistically significant difference.
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Oh good G-d no. Expats who had Chinese girlfriends will do nothing but make negative comparisons -- just look at the crap Western women get on this board. A lot of the women I'll be working with have been there a few years at least. I'm planning on staying at least, possibly four depending on contracts etc. It is pretty amazing how much crap the women in general get, but yes western women seem to get a lot particularly. I am assuming not everyone are jerks like some of the posters here.
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- Foreign women label Beijing a dating wasteland;
It is interesting about the few month thing, maybe it also depends on job and family situation. You're not going to warn her about the "Sex and the City" stereotype and how that leads to inappropriate groping from the locals on dates? This inaccurate stereotype makes them believe we're like prostitutes they don't have to pay. It makes me and my friends so uncomfortable that we usually don't date Chinese men at all.
As far as I can tell, I'm not the only one: This stereotype can even make dating downright dangerous. I had one guy take his pants off in a KTV bar on a first date because "it's time for sex now. You guys may think it's funny, but for women, it's a really bad safety issue.
Sex and Dating
Moreover, because China places a premium on everyone appearing happy all the time, no one says anything -- particularly not to their male friends. What's worse is that those friends aren't observant enough to figure out what's really going on beneath the surface.
The biggest mistake I made was listening to men about women's experiences before coming to China. As a rule of thumb, they're not as observant as women when it comes to social dynamics, especially when it comes to life is like for women. Moreover, I think it's better to lose hope and focus on more meaningful things than to bang your head against the wall and be frustrated all the time. Agreed, to an extent. Finding dates is really the last reason that I'm coming to Beijing but it is interesting to know the good, the bad and the ugly so to speak.
Foreign women label Beijing a dating wasteland
Not really a bar person but I will have my wits about me when I do go out. I have to admit I don't know much about the dating scene first hand, but I have had friends with varying degrees of success. I think age is one big factor. I was kind of shocked to read Jordan's experiences with local guys.
Were these guys under or over 30? Anyway, Bron, your posts show that you are normal and have realistic expectations.
Dating in Beijing
I think you will be fine. I find that most expat women today like to have a whinge about their dating prospects all the while ignoring the basics that are applicable right around the world which are:. With that in mind clearly when expat men arrive in China and are presented with a pool of women that tend to be small and slim and who view them as exotic and worldly to the point where dating for an expat man is nigh akin to shooting fish in a barrel then naturally they are not going to pay much attention to expat women.
The big oga wey put poor man for sun no de remember. Him own belle done full up with cornflake and milik and omlate. Research has shown that men are sexually attracted to women of the most healthy weight and shape. Excuse me if I don't immediately take your word for it on that one Mr Chinese people not speaking English properly is effing hilarious. Men all over the world are attracted to the exact waist-to-hip ratio that indicates a woman has the ability to healthily drop a sprog.
In Beijing I make a decent amount of money. It is fairly comfortable and I regularly eat out. I spend on taxis and on clothes. I splurge on travel. But you can't make enough to save a decent amount and the urge to spend becomes so strong that money is like water flowing through your outstretched hand.
You always you have a nagging feeling that this isn't sustainable. I've lived in Beijing for a little over two years now. In that time I've seen friends drift away, friendships quickly form and just as quickly die. I have Chinese acquaintances who will always have you at arm's length because of their pragmatism — why get close to someone who will eventually move away? Beijing can be a tough circle to break into, and one in which the feeling of temporariness moves close to you, staring you down. This is the most far-reaching consequence of living in Beijing. I am British and Chinese. I am more aware of my differences than ever before.
This is something I like. But going back home to England and "home" will forever be England, not my birthplace of China , you feel slightly phased out. It's not a terrible thing, but it means you will always feel 'different'. Telegraph International Money Transfer. Accessibility links Skip to article Skip to navigation. Tuesday 15 January The good, bad and ugly of moving to Beijing Cross-cultural relationships and toughening up: The sense of making a life for yourself In Beijing, with the relative wealth of being an expat and the advancement of social and professional circles, the feeling of having had made a life for yourself is palpable.