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- I Went Speed Dating, And It Didn’t Suck
- Speed dating: the Happy Meal of romance? | UK news | The Guardian
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Speed Dating Venues
But it was time to let go. It was time to realize that I have never truly known if all that control I was exerting was empowering or stifling. Oh, the power of social media. And the regret of proclaiming something online when you should keep your social media mouth shut.
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I finally braved the downtown crowd and got there. It was at a small but hip hotel bar. I could give you a play-by-play of what happened from there, but why do that when I can skip around and tell you what you really want to know? Did I meet the love of my life? I work in statistics, and knew the probability of that happening would be slim to none.
I actually asked another female participant if she expected to meet the love her life. She was petite and in her early 40s; she wore jeans, no makeup, and had short salt-and-pepper hair. I am done chasing ghosts. Did I have stiff competition?
I honestly have no idea. What I do know is that the few women I met were delightful. Friendly, at ease, genuine. What were the men like? They were the guys who, in most social situations, might watch rather than participate. They might get overlooked for men with more bravado and better physiques.
This all made them more interesting to me. They had regular jobs — in real estate, in business, at a bank, etc. They wore regular clothes — one guy had stitched jeans very , one wore a convincing fake leather jacket yes, I touched it , some wore blazers, one a full suit he came straight from work. One was really tall. One was really short. They talked about regular things — hobbies, their jobs, where they grew up. There was conversation about eating healthy, not wanting kids, how East Coast cities are so close in proximity compared to Southern cities, how the gym is a great place to meet people because everyone is high on endorphins.
We talked about how great the city we live in is. One guy liked country dancing. One guy asked me to describe my greatest success at work. I believe in changing your lifestyle. A couple of the guys wore so much cologne that I could smell it on me while driving home the smell lingered after I shook their hands. Overall, it felt like a whirlwind. To talk to date after date, to hear and absorb so much information… it was confusing. Despite the confusion, one thought resonated clearly above everything else: This might sound obvious, but let me explain.
When your heart gets broken several times over, and you spend a couple of years vigilantly detached from romantic intimacy for the sake of self-preservation, your mind starts imagining meaningful romance as a complicated thing. It seems hard and weird and too much trouble. It becomes something for everyone else.
I Went Speed Dating, And It Didn’t Suck
You see friends get married, stay married, and build long-lasting relationships while you tag along as a third wheel. When you see your path ahead of you, you see yourself in it alone. And you settle into it because the alternative seems too difficult. But then there I was, sitting in a row of women who had also had their hearts broken, talking to men who had also had their hearts broken, and realizing that my fears and pains were average.
Speed dating: the Happy Meal of romance? | UK news | The Guardian
My situation was average. We were all sitting there, talking, sharing… the walking wounded… trying to make a connection. The humanness of it was palpable, and the whole thing actually quite simple. When it was over, the guys lingered, hoping some of the women would stay. I noticed that none of them were lingering near me; I also noticed feeling relief about that.
Most of the women left. In Hong Kong, the gender ratio has become increasingly skewed, with just males to every 1, females, compared with to 1, a decade ago. Mary is one of many young women in the city having trouble finding a partner.
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Despite being only 23, Wendy So Shun-man, also felt the need to attend speed dating events in search of a serious relationship. Capitalising on the anxious hearts looking for love, matchmakers in Hong Kong have seen a thriving business in the digital era despite the prevalence of free dating apps that supposedly revolutionised how this generation could find romance by simply swiping right. But where can I go? I am still alone. Once, they set up a casual blind date for her with the son of a family friend.
Not having met any suitable men in work circles, and not being an outgoing person by nature, Mary decided to go speed dating.
Why speed dating with us?
In addition, she sought to expand her social circle by taking classes after work. She also tried dating apps and online dating sites because of their popularity. The search for a special someone is a time-consuming one — or so it seems in Hong Kong, where couples are tying the knot later in their lives, or not getting married at all.
According to data from the latest census report, men usually marry for the first time at the age of 31, while they used to do so at 29 in Women have seen the age of marriage pushed to 29 from 26 over the same year period. The trend has driven more and more women in the city to look for life partners on the mainland, despite political conflicts between both sides, the census report showed. In , some 7, Hong Kong women married mainland Chinese men, making up a third That was up from 1, in , when they accounted for only 6.
The city has seen a decline in fertility rates over the past 33 years, according to a census report released in In , only 62, babies were born in Hong Kong, compared to 86, births in As fertility rates fell, the size of the average domestic household shrank from 3.
A separate census report in highlighted another demographic challenge facing the city: In , the figure was just 8 per cent. Chan warned that the government would need to bear a huge social cost if the situation did not improve soon. What will be their social support network? To said the high economic pressure faced by those living in Hong Kong had also put many off having children, and suggested that the government give tax deductions to married couples and people with child dependents. Chan said that long working hours, the slow increase in incomes for the younger generation and rocketing property prices were among the reasons people hesitated to marry and have children.
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