- "How to Tell If a Man is Gay" — 5 Ways (Backed By Science)
- “How to Tell If a Man is Gay” — 5 Ways (Backed By Science)
- What Is Sexual Orientation? (i.e. What Does It Mean to Be Gay?)
It is possible that your guy friend is not gay but instead falls somewhere else on the Kinsey scale of unicorns and awesomeness. Bisexual, meaning he's interested in men and women.
"How to Tell If a Man is Gay" — 5 Ways (Backed By Science)
Asexual, meaning that he naturally has no sexual desire. He may just not be interested in you, if you're wondering why he hasn't made a move on you.
Don't judge based on feminine voice or way of talking. Although some people in the gay culture may put on a certain voice or a way of speaking, your friend talking in a similar or "effeminate" way is still not a very good way to judge. Some guys are simply soft-spoken or have naturally feminine ways of speaking. For example, he may simply be shy or grew up around someone who talked in a similar way. Don't judge based on the kinds of things he likes to do.
What a guy enjoys is also not a very good way to judge if he is gay or not. Everyone can enjoy different things; just like a woman might enjoy watching football, guys can also enjoy things that are more commonly associated with women or the gay community. Examples of activities he can like and still be straight as an arrow: Don't judge based on the kinds of media he likes.
The movies he watches and the music he listens to are also not fair methods to gauge if he is straight or gayer than Elton John and George Takei put together. You'll have to look for other indicators than his mp3 collection. Examples of media that he can like and still be straight: Lady Gaga, musicals, and chic flicks. Don't judge based on how he looks, dresses, or grooms himself. There's the stereotype that if a guy is a good dresser or if he spends a bunch of time on his hair,he's definitely gay.
However, guys getting more invested in how they look is pretty common these days, making this a terrible way to judge. Similarly, you shouldn't assume that just because he's super macho and wouldn't know the right end of the comb to use, he's definitely straight. Do not judge based on who he hangs out with. Sometimes you might assume that just because a guy only hangs out with girls or just because his best friend also seems gay, then he might also be gay.
These are not fair indicators, though.
“How to Tell If a Man is Gay” — 5 Ways (Backed By Science)
Different people look for different things in friendships and he probably just feels better around the friends that he has. Get some alone time.
Set aside some quality time for the two of you to talk. This is a very private matter and you don't want to put him in an awkward position in front of other people. You should also work your way up to this serious conversation by talking about other deep matters first. It's important to make him feel comfortable and set the expectation that you two can share deep, personal feelings with each other. For example, talk about your family problems or maybe politics and your concerns for the future.
Show him you're okay with your friends being gay. Subtly bring up subjects that show him that you're okay with your friends being gay and that he doesn't need to hide his nature around you. You can talk about another friend that is gay or even just about someone hypothetically coming out if you don't know someone who's gay. For example, you can say something like "I really admire people like Neil Patrick Harris.
He does a great job of showing all those conservative people that there's more to gay people than all those offensive stereotypes. And he's clearly so happy now. I wish everyone felt like they could live as out and proud as he does. Talk about other friends coming out. You can also talk about the experience that other people had with coming out.
Show him that you're concerned that those same negative effects might plague him. This can show him that you're ready to be a support network if he needs one. Say something like, "Before Andie came out I was so worried about her. She seemed to be so unhappy And then everyone was so mean to her after she did. I don't want anyone to have to go through that. Give him the opportunity to tell you. Now that you've set the precedent and shown him that you are someone safe and accepting to talk to, give him the time and opportunity to tell you.
He might not tell you in that conversation. He might not even tell you that week. But if he is gay, he will probably tell you once he's comfortable and feels like he really trusts you. It is important to maintain an environment of trust if you want him to tell you. Don't spread any gossip about anybody, since spilling any kind of secret just tells him that you might spill his. Of course, if he doesn't say anything or if you would rather not make any assumptions based on his behavior, just ask him.
It's okay to ask. This is really the best way to find out if someone is gay and much less offensive than making assumptions about them. It may feel awkward, but chances are, if you are trusted, this friend will tell you the truth. Say something like, "You know you're stuck with me as a friend no matter what, but I just have to ask because I don't want to make assumptions and come to the wrong conclusions: Legally Blonde can solve many things when you use it in the correct way. He could be, but there are a lot more straight people who hate gays than there are closeted gay people who hate gays.
Not Helpful 3 Helpful Is it possible that my friend is gay and lying to me about being straight? If your boyfriend regularly talks about how gay men had a hard fight and should be accepted, or quotes gay men or Oprah, he might be trying to justify his sexuality. Gay men will often pick a female character in a game, or choose a very hunky man. The reason for this is unknown, but it is psychologically proven to be correct! A study shows that gay men almost always chose to play as Storm, while straight men chose from a range of men.
So watch his gaming habits and see what charcater he picks as his avatar. Listen for the way he compliments you. Does he tell you that you look beautiful, or tell you that your jacket goes great with those skinny jeans and you should finish the look with diamante boots and pink nail varnish? Gay men are often very fashionable, so see how clued up he is. Does he have a secret online profile?
He might display an over the top rage at gays.
What Is Sexual Orientation? (i.e. What Does It Mean to Be Gay?)
This is a classic reaction to prevent people from guessing he is gay. As the homage goes, the greatest homophobe is the homosexual! A variety of researchers named in this article report the following findings about a confirmation of a gay sexual orientation:.
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Do they feed into stereotypes or provide some additional clues into helping to clarify this perplexity? Turns out science actually has some answers for us.