- The Office: Michael Scott's Best Quotes
- Michael the Scholar
- The Office: Michael Scott's Best Quotes - IGN
- Dating Fails
Women's Appreciation - Season 3 Michael: Any man who says he totally understands women is a fool. Because they are un-understandable. There's a wishing fountain at the mall. And I threw a coin in for every woman in the world and made a wish. I wished for Jan to get over me. I wished for Phyllis a plasma TV. I wished for Pam to gain courage. I wished for Angela a heart, and for Kelly a brain.
Well, maybe I learned something from women after all. Happy Hour - Season 6 Michael: I would say I kind of have an unfair advantage, because I watch reality dating shows like a hawk, and I learn. I absorb information from the strategies of the winners and the losers. Actually, I probably learn more from the losers. We may never know what turned Michael against the office's HR in the first place. All we know is that it's been hilarious watching Michael cut down Toby Flenderson at every opportunity.
No matter how Toby tries to win him over, Michael stubbornly holds onto his hate like a dog with a bone. And with the exception of a brief sabbatical in Costa Rica, Toby has had to put up with the abuse because his job requires it. He even tried to council Michael at one point this season, but it was no use. There may be peace in the Middle East before there is any end to this feud. But that's fine by us, since it's a constant source of comedy. Let's do some good. Hey, we're not all going to sit in a circle Indian style are we? No, this is not a joke. That was offensive and lame.
This is an environment of welcoming and you should just get the hell out of here. Toby is in HR which technically means he works for Corporate. So he's really not a part of our family. Also he's divorced so he's really not a part of his family. Why are you the way that you are? Honestly, every time I try to do something fun or exciting, you make it not that way.
I hate so much about the things that you choose to be. I'll let you in on a little secret: I've been very much looking forward to this moment. I have been steeped in anticipation.
The Office: Michael Scott's Best Quotes
Toby has been cruisin' for a bruisin' for twelve years, and I am now his cruise director, and my name is Captain Bruisin'. I tried, I tried. I tried to talk to Toby and be his friend but that is like trying to be friends with an evil snail. I feel like I'm dying inside. She thinks she can go off to college and be happy and then the murderer comes back and starts killing off all of her friends. I learned a lot of lessons from that movie, this is just one of them.
Uh, I just wanted to let you know that I'll be taking a leave of absence starting next week. Uh, because you've been on the lam?
Michael the Scholar
Because the boring police have been after you, and they finally caught up with you? Uh, no, the opposite. I was actually selected to be a juror on a very high-profile case. Yes, the case of the horrible red-headed sad sack. And the verdict, it was Toby. And the sentence, death. It's no secret that Michael isn't exactly a Rhodes scholar.
The Office: Michael Scott's Best Quotes - IGN
What's interesting about him, though, is his total lack of awareness of just how wrong he is sometimes. Here are some of his most amusing flubs, and one possible reason why he makes them.
Abraham Lincoln once said that, "If you're a racist, I will attack you with the North. Franklin, I would say you are probably one of the sexiest presidents ever. Well, actually, I never was president. Yes, but Ben Franklin was. I'm here to teach you a little bit about my life and the era of the founding fathers.
And when they came over on the Mayflower. They say that your wedding day goes by in such a flash that you're lucky if you even get a piece of your own cake. I say that's crazy. I say let them eat cake. Margaret Thatcher said that about marriage. Wikipedia is the best thing ever.
Dating Fails
Anyone in the world can write anything they want about any subject, so you know you are getting the best possible information. If this were Russia, yeah sure, everyone would go to one Santa, and there would be a line around the block, and once you sat on her lap and she would ask you what you wanted and you would probably say freedom, at which point the KGB would arrest you and send you to Siberia. It's a good thing Russia doesn't exist anymore. It's not just Michael's historical knowledge that's spotty.
That's only one aspect of his overall questionable intelligence. He may have an uncanny knack for sales, but Michael has proven time and again that he has very little common sense. Some of his more boneheaded moves include burning his foot on a George Foreman Grill, sending out a topless picture of his boss to the entire warehouse, taking a pizza boy hostage and driving into a lake when following GPS directions.
Will he ever learn? We sure hope not. What do I write under "reason for visit? What did you write? I wrote "bringing someone to the hospital. Dwight betrayed me once before. So this is his strike two. You know what they say? Fool me once, strike one. But fool me twice, strike three. Notable cut scenes include the Party Planning Committee squabbling over what food to serve, Stanley complaining that his daughter is spoiled, Dwight discovering an eraser in his coffee courtesy of Jake, Kelly complaining to Pam that "Stanley's daughter is such a slut", and Jim giving Abby an official certificate of appreciation.
Pam notes that by putting out candy to lure in children, she is acting just like the witch in the fairy tale " Hansel and Gretel ".
Michael complains about having to censor himself with children around; he compares himself to Eddie Murphy in his movie Raw and notes "they" want to make him into Murphy in Daddy Day Care. Michael, Jim, and Dwight get into an argument about superheroes. Michael claims that he is like Superman defending Gotham City. Both Jim and Dwight correct him, and he says that he is more like Aquaman.
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Frankweiler and talk whether they would want to spend a night in the Metropolitan Museum of Art or an aquarium. Sasha asks Phyllis if she is Mother Goose. Dwight later reads the short story "Die Geschichte vom Daumenlutscher" from Heinrich Hoffmann 's book Struwwelpeter. Michael later refers to it as a book that Dwight's " Nazi war-criminal" grandmother read to him. Michael argues that Dunder Mifflin is better than Office Depot with the children. He later shows them his performance on Fundle Bundle , a parody of "those crappy little local kids' shows that used to fill time on Saturday mornings before there were such things as infomercials".
The episode received largely positive reviews from critics. Francis Rizzo III of DVD Talk called the scene where the office realizes Michael's loneliness "absolutely one of the saddest moments I've seen in recent memory" and noted that "you can't help but feel for him". Giant of Television Without Pity gave the episode an "A".
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. Retrieved January 25, Retrieved September 27, Season Two Disc 2: Universal Studios Home Entertainment.
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