- My Tinder Bender: Date #1 -- The Fish Eater | HuffPost Canada
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I decide to break my seal. Well, I'm not sure I actually had to pee, but I wanted to check my phone. The bathroom seemed like a better place to do it. I walk in the restaurant from the patio, and ask two random women where the bathroom is. They point, but give me the most disgusted look. As I head to the bathroom personal phone booth , I realize those women took offense to my question because they assumed I thought they work here.
I return to the table after checking Facebook, Twitter and Instagram , and it happens: I'm all about paying my own way, going dutch, etc. This bill could be half my rent. I do a powerful reach for my wallet. He shakes his head, and says:. I didn't say that out loud.
My Tinder Bender: Date #1 -- The Fish Eater | HuffPost Canada
We walk out on to College street. I'm very confused as to whether we are still going to hang out or not. I've said 18 things for every one thing he's said. He's clearly more shy than I am, but most people are. He suggests going to another bar, in Yorkville. I'm like a President's Choice bankcard.
Straight Bender
As we pull up to Hemingway's, I feel the gnocchi kicking in. Carbo-loading and dates do not go together. I'm now talking only three times as much as him, in contrast to my former ten times. I order a pint of Coors Light. In the time I take to drink one, he drinks three. When I tell my friend Jenna this, she says, "Wow. You thought it would have been the other way around.
He drinks three beers for every one I have. At least he's opening up more.
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But I'm falling asleep. I'm hitting the wall. He pays the bill again. Am I a free rider? I don't mean to be. Also, I haven't used that term since university. We leave the bar. Outside, we say awkward goodbyes.
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While it was a nice date, I know that we don't have that spark. Probably because I slyly detected he's a Scorpio, and I'm a Sagittarius. I'm such a sleuth! Plus, I feel like he wants a drop dead gorgeous, high-maintenance girl, and I'm definitely not that. I held in so many burps tonight. We all have to fib a little when it comes to love and pork. When you match with someone, you hear a bacon-sizzle sound, which made me hungry for bacon. My matches must have also been hungry for love.
Bumble is like Tinder, except women speak first, eliminating the surprise dick-pic greeting.
Which is great, except for part where I have to talk first. But making the first move ALL the time was a bit exhausting. Bumble had the best-looking and most accomplished men of all the sites, so I started swiping yes to almost all of them. Luckily, I was saved at the last minute. So I demanded that she help with a phone-number exchange. Does it still count if you get a little IRL help? An alarming number of guys on Bumble have profile pictures with President Obama. Also, lots of guys have opinions on the Oxford comma in their bios, which, as a writer, I appreciate but find confusing.
Score reveals photos after determining if someone is compatible with you via a short quiz. But it kept matching me with people who were between 30 and miles away.
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If I wanted to commute, I would date someone in Oakland. I love beards and would like to live somewhere where men are required by law to have them. Photo courtesy of Giuseppe Milo. Sign in Get started.