- 1. You show up and he’s randomly drinking
- 10 Signs You’re Dating A Drunk
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- Dating a Recovering Alcoholic | Single and Sober
- Dating an Alcoholic
As someone who coaches others in relationships I realize that navigating the dating scene can be difficult enough. Getting to know someone in the early stages of a relationship takes time, observation, and trial and error.
1. You show up and he’s randomly drinking
When you couple this with trying to determine if the person you are dating has a drinking problem, it can make things even more difficult. Binge drinking — having five or more drinks for men; four or more for women — increases the risks for type 2 diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure and other serious conditions. Drinking has become a central part of the social scene, so someone who is a drinker can often hide their drinking habit.
And, if the person is a highly functioning alcoholic, they will throw in other distractions, making their drinking habit one which is harder to detect. Oftentimes, however, there are red flags along the way. Blackouts, extreme mood swings and belligerent behavior are more obvious signs. Yet, there are also some signs which are more subtle.
The next time you are trying to figure it out, here are some signs that might indicate that you are dating an alcoholic:. Each and every event involves drinking. No matter what you are celebrating or the event you are participating in, alcohol is always a part of the equation. This can be hard to decipher in the early stages of getting to know someone because you may be meeting at bars, concerts and festival-type activities where alcohol and drinking can be part of the norm.
10 Signs You’re Dating A Drunk
But, if every activity you are participating in with your significant other involves partaking in alcohol, keep your eyes wide open as this is a sure sign that something might be awry. While it may be understandable for a person to order a drink if they are waiting for you, if they have already gotten the party started with several drinks, this could be a sign of a deeper problem.
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It releases endorphins, making us feel confident, good-looking, and hilarious. We have to feel all those feelings without liquid courage. And herein lies the crux in some ways, of dating and socializing in a drinking culture.
Wine with dinner seems like the civilized thing to do. Meeting for a drink at the bar after work or on a Friday night is seen as a great way to relax and unwind with friends. Meeting for drinks seems like the most common first date.
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Unlike illicit drugs, which are illegal in most of the world, drinking is often seen as harmless and socially acceptable — but alcohol is anything but harmless. That cost comes primarily from excessive drinking — bingeing on four or more drinks per evening, or drinking heavily all week long. Though the amount of alcohol consumed and the circumstances for example, in Italy, alcohol is imbibed most often along with food , it is clear that in most countries, alcohol plays a role in daily life.
So, what is a sober person to do in a world of drinkers? And, more specifically, what is dating like for both the sober person and their partner?
It is easy to create a list of drawbacks and reasons why it is unwise to date someone with a history of alcohol abuse the main one being: What if they relapse? This is an understandable concern and a reason perhaps for both people in the relationship to move slowly and cautiously.
Dating a Recovering Alcoholic | Single and Sober
This allows time for both people to get to know each other and gain some emotional intimacy before jumping into a serious relationship. Openness and honesty is key in all relationships and especially so when one or both of the partners are sober.
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- 2. All of a sudden, you two are on very different pages;
This is a time to learn about each other, talk about triggers, and what types of situations feel comfortable. Some recovering alcoholics have no problem if their partner drinks and feel no uneasiness going to bars or clubs where alcohol is served. For others, those situations are too risky and need to be avoided.
Dating an Alcoholic
The early part of a relationship is learning about each other and discovering whether there is compatibility. Author Sarah Hepola wrote in an essay for Elle. It allowed me to inch toward intimacy with built-in distance.