- Dating Your Ex: 10 Rules Worth Following
- 10 Questions to Answer Before You Date Your Ex | Articles at media-aid.com
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Maybe you two broke up because you thought you wanted different things, but now, you want the same thing.
Dating Your Ex: 10 Rules Worth Following
But if you are really, truly honest with yourself, were you genuinely happy the majority of the time? Did your ex make you feel appreciated and loved?
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Did they treat you the way you deserve? And do you still love that person? This might sound weird, but think about a scenario for a second. Say you decided not to get back together with your ex. Would you be happy not dating your ex, or would you be happy despite not dating your ex? That is, even if you still love your ex, was your relationship something to put up with, or was it something that truly added to your life? If the reason you and your ex broke up is because one of you did something totally not OK, that person better be genuinely sorry, and not just saying it to get back together.
A breakup can cause some majorly hurt feelings. But if you want to get back with your ex, it means giving each other a clean slate. Getting back together means starting anew. Sammy Nickalls August 29, 7: If you are twenty years old, then it is two years.
10 Questions to Answer Before You Date Your Ex | Articles at media-aid.com
If you are thirty years old, three years is ten percent of your life. IF you have been broken up at least that long, continue on …. First of all, if all your answers place the blame on him, why would you want to get back together?
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If he has changed, the question you must ask yourself is whether or not you have changed. If he has modified his behavior that contributed to the breakup, but you haven't, you might allow unwanted behavior patterns from the past to resurface and slowly re-enter your life. In this case, your lack of change will be the biggest hurdle to a successful reconciliation.
You must consider your role in the original breakup and be prepared to confront convenient narratives that have evolved over time to confirm your version of reality. Are you ready to admit forgetting and overlooking some of the real reasons?
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If so, continue on …. What is it about things that have truly changed?
Are you more financially stable? Has a person who came in between you two stepped out of the picture for good? All of this must be analyzed in detail, because if things are not different, how can a relationship be successful under the same conditions in which it fell apart? Look at how much has changed in both of you and assess whether this change has been for the good.
There are two ways to maintain a second-time-around love: If you are committed with a reborn love, you two should be able to maintain a consistent approach in moving forward. Being sloppy means suddenly falling back into the patterns that allow bad habits to rule your lives.
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How are you committed to halting the recurrence of these habits? If you look back on when you two were together, and it is obvious that you were too young to even really comprehend what you two were doing together, that is a great sign.
If you look at each other and life is relatively the same as it was when you two split and you cannot point to any specific transformative event in either of your lives, getting back together would be like rearranging the furniture in your living room. It is new and interesting for a while but it is no substitute for moving to a nicer house. The goal in life is to be moving forward. If who you are has changed and who he is can be seen as fundamentally matured, you two might be ready to "try, try again. While we all want to believe that people have the capacity to change, if infidelity occurred in your relationship and you two have separated, what are you doing to ensure that this is no longer an issue?
If you are not getting counseling, the pairing between you two is a time bomb, waiting to destroy the trust you have pieced back together. If issues of addiction and substance abuse were central to your relationship, only after treatment and a few years of complete sobriety should revisiting an old relationship even be considered.