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- Should I Date a Former Drug Addict?
- Further Reading
- Should I Date a Former Drug Addict? - Christian Dating Advice
Recovering addicts have learned and accepted not to judge themselves or other people harshly, as they understand the lowest depths of life; they are realistic.
- What to Ask Before Dating a Recovering Addict - The Recovery Village.
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- Taking the Plunge: 5 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Choosing Romance With Someone in Recovery.
Recovered or recovering addicts have come out on the positive side of destruction, devastation, and rock bottom. They understand life can be hard sometimes. They also understand what to expect of themselves and other people, and they can teach you to be open in the same manner. Former addicts live health ier lives. Recovered addicts are free of addictions such as drugs or alcohol.
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They live clean, sober, and satisfying lifestyles. Dating a former addict can lead you to great happiness and open up a new world to you, as you discover all the ways to enjoy life purely, without harmful substances. Dating is tricky business, no matter who you are or whom you date.
Someone who has overcome a substance abuse problem and established himself in recovery would have done some serious work on himself and could be a great partner. Ultimately, whether or not a relationship with a former addict is a good risk for you will depend upon you, your hopes for the future, and the stability of the specific person you have in mind. Here are five questions to ask yourself to determine whether or not you and your potential partner are prepared to take on a relationship in recovery. If you believe that love can conquer all, you should know that love cannot conquer addiction.
Drugs and alcohol always come first to an addict, and the people who get hurt most are those who love the addicted person. Red flags for potential relapse include any level of drinking or drug use, other compulsive behaviors e. Addiction is not a willpower issue, and it is not a curable condition. It is a disease that affects the brain, the body, and the emotions.
It is chronic in nature and defined by relapse. Depending upon the drug of choice, the type of treatment your potential partner chose, the number of years spent in addiction, and the number of years spent in sobriety, your potential partner may be more or less likely to relapse — but relapse is an ever-present threat and just as deadly after a period of sobriety, if not more so. The better you understand how chronic drug use changes the brain, how triggers work, and how addiction is most effectively treated , the more capable you will be of identifying whether or not you and someone in recovery are a good fit.
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- Would you date a former drug addict? Why or why not? : AskWomen?
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But, he was shitty before the drugs, they just enhanced it. I think that if someone has made mistakes in the past hint, we all have and has learned and grown from it I have no place to judge the weight of it. We've all made mistakes, some bigger than others. But at the end of the day if you learn and grow from the experience, you still deserve a chance! This would be highly dependent on several factors for me. What they were abusing, for how long, how long they've been clean, what their ongoing treatment is, and what their plans are moving forward.
It would depend on the addiction. I'm five years sober and almost 8 years off weed. My exhusband did pills. He relapsed and I left him. Drugs are a hard line for me. I've lost most of my family to the disease.
Should I Date a Former Drug Addict?
Just when I thought they were clean and getting on with their lives, they would relapse and I would lose them again. I took a chance on my exhusband and it proved me right - addicts are sick and it's hard to change. The only part of addiction that is a choice is the choice to change your every day life so that the risk factors aren't there to tempt you.
My choice to stay sober is to work with those who are still battling the disease so that I can remind myself of how I don't want to live my life. But the temptation, drive and sometimes need for alcohol or weed is there every day. But I thank whoever above for my sobriety and my boyfriend who took a chance on a recovering addict.
Congrats on your ongoing recovery and I'm so happy hat you've found someone who can see beyond the stigma. I wish you guys happiness and health: It's a dealbreaker for me. There are many factors as to why, but it's a huge dealbreaker. I have dated people who are addicted to substances both drugs and alcohol and I'm friends with someone who is married to someone with such an addiction. It is an exhausting way to live.
I found that even in a quasi-dating situation unofficial FWB type deal , it was difficult to take him out without fear of him making a fool of us both. I could never trust him not to drink and drive, he had a terrible work ethic, and I couldn't imagine actually being married to or having kids with him. That said, to me, there was literally no point in dating him seriously. Im not going to hold baggage against someone, ultimately It all depends on how they came out the other side; did they heal themselves?
How have they grown? What are their behaviors and friendships like right now?
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I'm not a stranger to addiction. I struggled with emotional and binge eating at points in my life. My father and relatives on both sides of the family are alcoholics. What matters is how else they changed other than managing their addiction. My father sobered up but he didn't deal with all his emotional damage initially causing him to drink; he still has many toxic behaviors which aren't healthy to be around. My father's addictions ruined my childhood and left me with a lot of residual pain and suffering. I'd never willingly put myself in a situation like that regardless of how long they had been sober.
Yes, people can change. It's just not baggage that I'd be willing to take on. Seeing as I have a very strict control over my life, I want a partner with a strict control over theirs. I realize that anyone can become an addict and stuff, but I'd rather reduce my odds where possible. I suppose it would depend on what their life is like now.
Have they found happiness and are in a place to date? Do they have a solid career going or are back on track with school? Do they have interests and hobbies? I would probably say no if the only defining feature of this person was that they no longer did drugs. I guess I don't care that much about the past, just that the past is truly the past, and that this person has a fulfilling present and are ready to share it. I'd probably not do it again, so I'd file it under "potential dealbreaker". She had been in recovery and treatment at the same time as my mother, so there was a very interesting discussion when I took her home to meet the parents.
No, I would not. I do not do any sort of drugs, and never have. I would not date a former drug user. It's a complete deal breaker. I'm sorry, but illegal drug use terrifies me, and even if the person was recovered for years, I would always worry that they'd slip up and use again. An addict is never truly "former", and I don't want to live my life having to structure everything around recovery and having to babysit my partner for signs of a relapse, where I have to wonder if having so much as pain medication or cough syrup or cooking wine is going to set him off.
Wondering if one day I'm going to find the bank account empty, or all our shit pawned, or having him come home fired one day because he'd been hiding his habit and finally got busted. Maybe being asked to bail him out of jail or worse. Fuck that shit, right in the ear. I've never done drugs because I knew, even from an early age, that that shit can ruin your life. If a person is dumb enough to end up an addict because they thought pursuing a high was a good way to spend their time, then they can deal with the sponsor and the piss tests and the NA meetings and the making sure there's nothing mood-altering in the house.
Those are the consequences for making a stupid choice. As for me, my reward for not making that choice is to that I get to enjoy my occasional glass of wine, add cooking sherry to my spaghetti sauce, and basically live my life without endless self-policing. I don't have to live that way, and so I won't. It's not my problem and I'm not going to make it my problem.
Should I Date a Former Drug Addict? - Christian Dating Advice
Addiction is a choice made by people who don't want to deal with the unpleasantness of detoxing once the night is over. It's a self control issue. If I can shake the drugs out after a night of raging and go right back to my normal life, I expect my partner to be capable of the same. Addiction is not a choice and it's not a self-control issue. It's a disease of the brain. Nobody forces a needle in your arm. Nobody forces junk up your nose. Nobody forces that pipe into your hand. It's all the addict's choice. Actually, no, you're still wrong.