- Have any of you ever dated a mormon guy? What's it like? : AskWomen
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- Dating a Mormon: Tips for Non-Mormons
For decades, prophets have preached that youth who are in no position to marry should not pair off exclusively. When you reach an age where you think of marriage, then is the time to become so involved. To begin with, the general term dating may be a little confusing, since nowadays it sometimes seems to imply something a little more serious than what we intend it to mean in relation to youth in the Church. There are two different types of dating: The distinction between the two has to do with exclusivity.
With casual dating, there is no exclusivity. People who are casually dating are simply friends. This is the kind of dating the Church encourages you to do after you turn You have fun; you do a variety of things with a variety of people. On the other hand, steady dating means the couple is exclusive with one another. They expect each other not to date anyone else or to be emotionally or physically close with other people. Couples who date seriously consider the future, because there is a real possibility they could stay together.
As President Boyd K. The problem is, a lot of teenagers jump the gun. They think these friendship-type relationships are only for younger kids, and they plunge into romantic relationships more appropriate for young adults people in their 20s , who are in a position to think about marriage. These romantic relationships have two components: Generally speaking, boys crave the physical part more than girls do, and girls crave the emotional part more than boys do.
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Because boys have less of a desire for emotional closeness, they are usually in control of how deep this aspect of the relationship will become. Likewise, because girls are less driven by a desire for a physical relationship, they are generally in control of how far that aspect of the relationship will go. Marriage is where these two components come together in more perfect harmony. Though LDS youth generally know the kinds of physical contact they should avoid sexual transgressions and inappropriate touching , they often wonder when it is OK to hug or kiss or do other such things.
But these questions ignore the emotional half of the equation. After high school and a mission, for a young man , if young adults become emotionally intimate and naturally desire physical intimacy, they are in a position to do something about it: Studies have shown that the longer a boy and girl date one another, the more likely they are to get into trouble.
The important stages for teenagers to experience in their relationships are friendship and casual dating. If you choose to date after turning 16, the Church encourages you to date in groups. The brilliance of group dating is that it prevents you from becoming too attached to one person of the opposite sex. Friendship is when two people discover they have similar interests, similar views—things in common.
They may hang out in the same social circle, study together, or participate in activities they both enjoy. It allows you to get to know a number of people and to interact with everybody else in the group, fostering a feeling of friendship. Friends follow a philosophy of inclusion—friendship is casual, no-pressure fun that keeps you from getting too serious with one person.
As you take to heart the counsel of modern prophets, you will see how fulfilling your relationships can be, without having to deal with the complications and potential sorrow of teenage romance. Friendship is more about fun. Friendship is less stressful.
Have any of you ever dated a mormon guy? What's it like? : AskWomen
Without romance, you can better balance your time between all of your friends, both male and female. And I've lived in New York City for six years as a Mormon, and it is hard to be a Mormon here if you don't drink or if you don't do drugs, but it is especially hard to live in New York City if you don't have sex. Because I'm young and I wanna have relationships, and I wanna play too and, like, date and stuff. But unfortunately, because I don't have sex, the longest relationship I've ever been able to sustain is four weeks… and that was only because for two of them he was out of town.
There's this huge part of me that wants to be considered sexy.
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But if you're not selling sex, you really shouldn't advertise, and so I don't really ever get to come across as sexy. But one time I was at this vintage boutique, and I came across this s slip. It was dark navy blue — lacy at the top and then silk — and it was the sexiest thing I'd ever seen.
I tried it on, and I looked in the mirror, and I thought, Oh my gosh! Who knew I could be sexy? And so I bought it. I took it home, and I put it in a drawer, and no guy has ever seen me in it. But occasionally, late at night, I'll try it on and look in the mirror and think, I'm sexy! And I know that Mormons are notorious for saying no to things, and you would think as a person who says no to a lot of things, I wouldn't be any fun.
But while I say no to some things, I try to say yes to everything else, which makes me a really enjoyable person. I learned the power of saying yes when I was going to NYU. They used to have these career fairs, and I was a drama student, so they wouldn't even set up booths for us.
But for all the business school students, they had tons and tons of booths with the coolest trinkets they would give away. And I discovered that if I said yes to all the questions they asked, I could get presents. They would ask, "Are you a Stern student? And I know that technically that's lying, and Mormons aren't supposed to lie by any means, but I figure I do everything else right so I can do that. And then another time I was walking by the Javits Center and someone said, "Are you looking for the paper convention?
I thought, This is awesome! It all led up to the mother of all conventions. I had some friends in town at the Marriott, and we had breakfast. I glanced under the table and saw a badge, and it said, "Bob Barnett, 7-Eleven Convention. So I start mingling with people.
Great Video: Mormon Guys Value Virtue and Chastity
I'm making friends, taking free samples. And I end up meeting the woman who's running the whole convention. And I was like, "I go to conventions all the time, and this is so well organised. So that night I got all dressed up, and me and my three friends went on this cruise. It was 1, 7-Eleven employees and us.
Dating a Mormon: Tips for Non-Mormons
And we start mingling. We get going in karaoke. And then they serve this four-course meal. And at the end of dinner my friend turns to me, and he says, "Elna, I dare you to make a toast. Everybody shut up, and I said, "I'd like to make a toast to 7-Eleven for redefining convenience. And the thing that I love so much about saying yes is that where you start at the beginning of the day and where you end up can be two totally different places based on all the things that you say yes to.
But then there's this other side of my life, which is that I do say no to a lot of things.
And with sex, the thing I've learned is it's one thing to say no to having sex with someone you've dated for two weeks. It's actually pretty easy because for me that would be kinda slutty to just say yes after two weeks. But it's a whole other experience to say no to having sex with someone when you feel like you're in love. I met my yes counterpart a year ago, and his name was Nick. And when I met him, immediately I was like, "You! We were walking by a movie set, and we decided to sneak on and pretend we were extras.
And so we were extras in the back of all these scenes, and we ended up in the makeup department. And they asked us what we needed, and at the same time we both said, "Black eyes! We had so much fun.
We just kept going on adventures. And we were dating. I didn't tell him I was Mormon, because I thought, You know what? In addition to being Mormon, I am a lot of other things. But I really, truthfully didn't wanna tell him I was Mormon because I wanted to get to date him, and I knew that it probably wouldn't work out if he knew I was Mormon.
And so as casually as you can bring that up, a couple of weeks into dating him I said, "Oh, by the way… I'm Mormon. Can you be with an atheist? Can you be with a Mormon? And we kept going on adventures, and it was really, really wonderful. But then there were these grander things than we were that kept interfering, as much as we tried to ignore them.