- Muslim Rules on Dating | Dating Tips
- How Young Muslims Define 'Halal Dating' For Themselves
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Many Muslim scholars take pains to make it clear that local customs often influence the practice of the religion. A marriage in Islam must be between opposite-sex partners who are not too closely related to each other. Women are expected to marry only other Muslims. In Islam, men are often permitted to marry multiple women. The warrant for this is to be found in both the Koran and in the personal life of the Prophet.
In many areas where the Koran is open to interpretation, Muslims will look for guidance to the life of Muhammad. In this case, the traditional maximum number of wives is set at four, largely because this is the number of wives the Prophet is said to have had. Women are not permitted to marry more than one man, traditionally because of the difficulty of proving which man fathered which son. When in doubt, Muslims will often seek instruction from the life of Muhammad. Such is the case where it applies to the allowable age of consent for marriage.
It is further elaborated that he refrained from consummating this marriage until she had reached the age of twelve. Largely as a result of this account, many Muslim societies have set their age of consent somewhat lower than is common among Western societies. In most other majority-Muslim countries, the age of consent is twelve.
In some secular Muslim communities, however, local laws and customs determine the allowable age. Such is the case in the United States, where the law generally allows marriage between eighteen year olds or between sixteen year olds with parental consent. The Koran does not mandate inequality between men and women. Officially, men and women enjoy equal rights and duties in the practice of Islam and also equality in the marriage relationship.
Muslim Rules on Dating | Dating Tips
This theory, however, is often overridden by local customs and ingrained attitudes among communities. Such is the case in prohibiting polyandry while permitting polygamy, prohibiting interfaith marriage for women but allowing it for men, and allowing the practice of certain courtship rituals. It would be fair to say that in most Muslim schools, women are regarded as being under a kind of guardianship or custody, first of their fathers and then of their husbands.
In practice, this affects nearly all aspects of how men and women relate to each other in Islam. Dating is rare in majority-Muslim countries. It should be noted that sometimes her consent is not required to proceed with what her guardian wali mujbir feels is a good match. Parent," "Business," the Famous Footwear blog and many others.
Dating a Muslim may present you with unfamiliar issues. Meet Singles in your Area! Step 1 Ask your date or partner about his Muslim faith, practices and values. Step 2 Familiarize yourself with the Muslim religion outside of conversations with your partner. Step 3 Expect resistance from your partner's community, family or friends. Step 4 Show respect for his Muslim traditions, family, friends and community at all times, even if the same respect is not shown to you.
Step 5 Speak to a professional who can help you navigate your feelings. Warnings Avoid gossiping about your partner's family, friends and religion. Do not convert to the Muslim religion to make others happy. If it comes to this, decide on your own if the Muslim belief system will enrich your life. Let's Talk About Dating.
View Singles Near You. Youth Group Dating Rules. Jehovah's Witness Dating Rules. Only a few months after, Ileiwat met someone at a party, and their friendship quickly turned into something more. However, dating was not that simple for the now year-olds who are Muslim. They have religious restrictions that limit physical contact in premarital relationships. They chose to focus more on developing their emotional intimacy, with the occasional hug or kiss.
How Young Muslims Define 'Halal Dating' For Themselves
Out of respect for their religious beliefs, Ileiwat and her boyfriend decided not to engage in any advanced sexual activity until they're married. For young couples like them, the idea of dating is common, and it means balancing their religious views with their desire for emotional intimacy.
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But the term "dating" still invites an offensive suggestion for many Muslims, especially older ones, irrespective of how innocent the relationship may be. Dating is still linked to its Western origins, which implies underlying expectations of sexual interactions — if not an outright premarital sexual relationship — which Islamic texts prohibit. Ismail Menk, a renowned Islamic scholar, argues in one of his lectures that love, within boundaries and with expectations of marriage, is an accepted fact of life and religion — if done the right way. This "right way," he says, is by involving the families from an early stage.
Before the rise of a Western cultural influence, finding a spouse was a task almost solely assigned to parents or relatives. But young Muslims have now taken it upon themselves to find their partners, relying on their own version of dating to do so.
Older Muslims continue to reject dating because they worry that a Western world will also create Western expectations of premarital sex in these relationships. Adam Hodges, a former sociolinguistics professor at Carnegie Mellon University in Qatar, argues there is an added layer of culture and context to the term "dating" that is often overlooked. So the way that we label events or phenomena, such as dating, is definitely going to provide a certain perspective on what that means for us," he says. Therefore, taking on the dating vernacular to describe their relationship and labeling their significant other as "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" does put some couples at risk of falling into the physical expectations that come with dating, Hodges says.
But, he adds, these fears can be allayed because "the most important connotation that is borrowed is the ability to choose your own mate," which is also the main precept of dating in the West.
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One way that some young Muslim couples are rebutting the idea of dating being offensive is by terming it "halal dating. By adding the permissibility factor, some young couples argue, they are removing the idea that anything haram, or prohibited, such as premarital sex, is happening in the relationship.
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On the other hand, some young couples believe there should be no stigma attached to dating and, therefore, reject the idea of calling it halal. Khalil Jessa, founder of Salaam Swipe, a dating app that caters to young Muslims, also believes that the negative associations attached to dating depend on the particular society. When they take the word dating, they're adding this connotation to it, and I don't think that's necessarily the case.
It's up to each individual and each couple to choose how they wish to interact with one another," Jessa argues. Getting to know someone and making the informed decision to marry them is not an alien concept in Islamic societies.