Or maybe, like me, you crave that emotional intensity again — wanting to be close to them again, by whatever means possible. So what happens next?
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And… honestly, it was pretty great. With the confines of the relationship removed, and more than a little tension built over the course of the evening, we were immediately all over each other as soon as possible. We made out in the cab, stumbled into his apartment, had sex in as many ways as we could manage , and then passed out. Sex with your ex can feel light, even liberating. It felt freeing—there was nothing tying us together. It felt like a choice that we were both making, and it was a ton of fun.
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But there was the undercurrent, too, of the emotional intensity that came from us still being unresolved — he was still him, not just any other person off the street, and that mattered. At the same time, you also need to have an honest conversation with yourself about your MO. Let the past go. Certain subjects can touch a nerve, and the awkwardness and pain that might follow aren't worth the momentary bliss of an orgasm.
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Forget about post-sex snuggling. Cuddling can send the wrong message, says Needle, or cause one or both of you to feel an emotional attachment again. Spooning, hand-holding, and even meaningful eye gazing after sex with your ex could lead to confusion or hurt.
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Fall asleep once the action is over, or take off and sleep in your own bed. Refrain from drunk dialing. Doing couply things with your ex like you used to—staying home watching Netflix, or agreeing to attend a work or family function together—will make it hard to not second guess your feelings.
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Because it's so hard to be sure about your feelings, some experts advise never having sex with an ex ever. Here's How to Tell.
She throws her support behind making a clean break.