- Should I Date a Guy Who Isn’t a Virgin?
- Dating a non-virgin
- Being able to fully forgive someone is a mark of a true Christian.
- The Pros And Cons Of Dating A Male Virgin
- The Pros And Cons Of Dating A Male Virgin | MadameNoire
This would sound very cynical, but statistically you will more likely that not break up, and there will many other women in your life after that girl, who was your first sexual partner. This is not a good thing or a bad thing. It is just part of life and part of coming of age for the majority of young men.
Should I Date a Guy Who Isn’t a Virgin?
So, stop worrying or expecting her to be pure and attached. Focus on your present and on the fact that she wants to be with you and you want to be with her. Perceive your interaction and your initial sexual experience with her as a valuable lesson and an introduction to your sex life, and this mindset will serve you well. Benefit from being with your first sexual partner by learning and gaining an experience of your own. When You Are a Virgin, but the Girl is Not Many guys face this emotional challenge early on in their dating lives before they have had any sexual experience with women and when they are still virgins.
So, what are the reasons for this frustration? If you are a guy who faces the above challenges, I would like to suggest to you two very effective things that you can do to overcome this problem: Put a positive spin on the fact that the girl is no longer a virgin and has all that sexual experience.
Stop idealizing your relationship with her.
In a brief case study, a number of women were asked to list the pros and cons of dating men who are virgins and men who are abstaining. The results on the following pages gave many pause as to what how important or unimportant sex was in a relationship. By continuing to use this site, you agree to our updated Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. MadameNoire is a sophisticated lifestyle publication that gives African-American women the latest in fashion trends, black entertainment news, parenting tips and beauty secrets that are specifically for black women.
My parents are asking about us. Ive been distant with all my friends.
Dating a non-virgin
Shes the first girl i ever really liked, and i just feel so trapped and im not sure if this should bother me that much. Wounded pride — In effect, you just found out that your girlfriend is less yours. She physically has already given a big piece of herself to somebody else. Betrayal — She was supposed to save herself for you, and she went and gave it up to some random dude.
Being able to fully forgive someone is a mark of a true Christian.
Insecurity — Does she still think of the random dude? Is she satisfied with you? In general, it feels a lot like she cheated on you. And picturing her with that other guy, especially outside the context of a relationship, is tearing you to shreds. But the reality is probably pretty unremarkable. Some backseat hookup that meant nothing and felt even less.
You need to talk to her about this and let her explain the whole situation to you, including how she feels about it. And you need to forgive her. If you focus too much on this it will cost you the relationship and hurt both of you. Is it really worth that to you? Is that what you really want? For the relationship to end?
I know you want her to see her history through the condemning filter that you see it through…want her to see her past as bad and wrong like you do…but at what cost? If you really like this girl, see if you can work it out. This is more your hang-up than hers, and in the long run you will kick yourself for any hurt you caused her over it.
You have a chance to be the nice guy here, forgive her instantly for her past, and move forward enjoying your relationship. Watch and see which direction this girl goes in, and plan accordingly. Wow, this was such a great read and I can really relate to it. And I feel like it will be even harder in the future. Any advice or insight? I would really appreciate it.
The Pros And Cons Of Dating A Male Virgin
Fist off, do not have sex just to make the pain go away. If you throw that away casually or for the wrong reasons, it will affect your development as a person. It will make you less. You will become a person who gives up on her values whenever they cause her pain. Congrats, you have love! Mutually affectionate relationships are few and far between. That is what creates this pain you feel. As much as you can, you need to lighten up and enjoy him and the relationship for its own sake.
Think in the present.
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- Should a Christian date or marry someone who is not a virgin? | media-aid.com.
Let the relationship go where it will on its own. Either he is very compatible with you naturally, and you will end up getting married, etc. Or he is not forever-compatible with you and you both will eventually go your separate ways. But if you change your values now by giving up your decision to wait , you risk achieving a kind of fake compatibility that prolongs the relationship past its natural end.
So again, stay strong and see where this goes. Talk to him about it. Get all the gory details on the table so you can stop filling in the blanks with your own terrible anti-fantasies about his history. As I said to Jezhr above, the reality is often refreshingly unremarkable.
You have built-up his history in your head to involve all these worse-case scenarios. In the mean time, enjoy! You have no reason to take this so seriously yet.
The more you can just enjoy his company now, the less the past will bother you. It gets so, so much easier. Then you get secure in your values, you build up some good muscles for dealing with the past, etc. And you worry less. So stick this one out and it will get better! The love is the important part. I say this from personal experience.
I look back at my first big relationship after I decided to wait and I think two things:.
The Pros And Cons Of Dating A Male Virgin | MadameNoire
Great writing on all these issues, Mike. There is truth to all that you have mentioned. You virgin keep your values; never give up….. To those who have wated and even those who havent, im a die hard Christian who plans to wait but i have a friend whos like a brother to me who choose not to wait he and the girl are not together now and it makes me sad to think someone i use to like gave it up for a girl who in the end didnt care. Love is patient yes he messed up but i need to be patient and kind to him and help lift him up in Christ. True i probablly wont ever love him like that again but hes still my friend and brother in Christ and im willing to forgive.
Ok i really need some help i have to do a project on sexual abstince i have to cover both sides peole who wait and peole who dont i cant find anything on the internet for peole who dont and the only people i know in real life who haveent are too ashamed to talk about it.