- How to Date a Trans Woman
- "Her Story" follows a cisgender lesbian and a trans woman finding love - AfterEllen
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Genitals are not secondary sex characteristics but part of the reproductive system- a biological system.
You need to re-take biology. Again, time for a biology class. Technology has made you lazy and easily swayed by any glittery idea that hits the internet. Your arguments are circular and false. That having been said, the definitions of sex that you yourself Maria seem to be working with are inaccurate. The fact is that sex is difficult to define according to any single consistent workable model in our society.
Rather than rejecting or attempting to erase that scientific reality, I think that our society will be better off trying to learn and embrace that human beings come in all types of different shapes, sizes and body configurations. From that perspective, I view bodily autonomy and body acceptance as one of the core principles of both feminism and trans activism. And yes, bodily autonomy means that you absolutely have the right to reject sexual relations with any person who has a penis if you are not comfortable sharing such relations.
However, it also means that when you put forward false scientific hypotheses of what womanhood is especially with those hypotheses follow a script that was obviously prepared for you by patriarchy itself , I think you will find it increasingly likely that you will be called out on that. True, genitals are a primary sex characteristic, and cis women with XY chromosomes usually have incomplete reproductive systems and resulting infertility.
Of course a few XY cis women have been born with more than just vaginas and vulvas—a handful are known to have been born with functional uteruses and ovaries too. These all, fertile or not, are biological women who had full or partial female reproductive systems from birth, yet have Y chromosomes.
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Y chromosomes do NOT define sex any more than they do gender; they are a fallible indicator of likely maleness, but other genetic and environmental factors cannot override them from the womb. I will concede one tiny point to you. OMG, it happened again.
Let us edit, please! Maria B, why is it so difficult for you to understand that the way we conceptualize biological difference IS socially constructed? Individuals are sexed according to several different biological factors, including chromosomes, genitalia, secondary sex characteristics, hormone proportions, etc. As so many other people have written eloquently, your ignorance and prejudice are quite appalling. Maria B — Gender is a construct, identity is bilological. Where do people such as Hida Villoria and myself fit in to your world?
Not being a hater, just reducing it to biology, well, physiology, which is how you apparently see things..
How to Date a Trans Woman
All it means is that these folks are expressing bigotry and their words should be critiqued as bigotry by people concerned about social justice. That is a slur most often used by TERF radfems. I was simply quoting Maria. Sorry if I caused you consternation, Lana. Hi Savannah, I really enjoyed your article. Gender is a continuum some people identify as being female and some as male, and other folks all the way along the continuum.
Similarly, sexuality is also a continuum some identify as being very gay and some very straight and other folks all the way along in between eg.
"Her Story" follows a cisgender lesbian and a trans woman finding love - AfterEllen
There is nothing wrong with preferring vaginas, or preferring penises, or both. Everyone comes from different places and everyone identifies with and prefers whatever is most comfortable to them. For example, how I identify myself: Would I, as a lesbian, date a trans man? What differentiates lesbians from people of other orientation is that they identify as women and are attracted to women. In the future, we will all be disembodied genitalia. The vaginas will float around on butterfly wings giving candy to kittens while the raptor-winged penises soar overhead eager to dive-bomb the hapless, unsuspecting vaginas.
What so many people seem to miss is the largest biological organ: Most of what makes up who I am is between my ears and what attracts me to other people is what is between theirs. Trans-exclusionary radical feminists seem to want to enforce rape culture and patriarchy in so much that they say. I love, love, love, love, love vaginas. And plenty of people feel the same about penises. Some of us are extremely physically turned on by certain genitals and would not be able to be aroused by others.
Why are we assuming this guide is solely for lesbians — when not everyone here identifies that way? I said nothing about trans women being real women or real lesbians. I believe trans women are women and that someone who is dating a trans women is a lesbian if she identifies that way. Genitals might hold no part of attraction for some people, but for some of us genitals are a big part of attraction.
Thanks fr ths comment. For me, it s really true and upsetting that the s often thought of as anti trans. What you are saying, however, is: No, what I clearly said was that I would not have a sexually satisfying experience with someone who does not have a vagina, because interacting with a vagina is a big part of my sexual satisfaction. I am attracted to or not attracted to a woman based on many characteristics, but I only have sex in long term relationships and I would not have a long term relationship with someone with whom I know sex will not be satisfying to me.
Recognize Our Perspectives
I also would not have sex with a stone butch, because they would not let me touch their vagina, because it would not be a good sexual experience for me. So you can only be satisfied by vagina, even unsatisfying vagina. This is because you have tried all the vaginas in the world and all of the penises and know this to be true. Thank you parroting exactly the same things that patriarchal society pushes on women all women, both cis and trans every single day of our lives!
Yeah FTR I agree with pac at this point in the conversation. I had been triggered and did not stop to check how I was expressing my anger or on whom.
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I have re-read your comments. I was wrong and I am sorry for the hurtful things I wrote. I feel quite wretched and I hope you are okay. Thank you for that response, Evil Empress. I know how easy it is to get upset when feeling attacked. It happens to me often! I get her point to an extent. So to that extent, I get it. Thank you for being so graceful about it, pac.
It feels like GSD folks are never — never — respected just as people and that really hurts, every single damned time I see it happen. Satisfying sex has to be part of a relationship for me, and for that, I need a partner with a vulva. The phrase was mainly created by trans people in a not entirely successfully attempt to water down the actual truth about our gender to soothe the feelings of transphobic bigots. There are many cis lesbians who disagree with your definition, and many trans women lesbians who disagree as well.
Comparing social activism to reparative therapy is an insult to people who have gone through reparative therapy.