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California police officer killed in shooting; suspected shooter found dead. And sometimes they're criminals. A recent BBC Panorama report revealed that Action Fraud, the UK's national reporting service for fraud, receives up to 10 reports of online romance scams a day - most of which originate on dating platforms. Closer to home, the Garda National Economic Crime Bureau is dealing with an increasing number of reports from people who have been the victims of romance fraud, and who are often deeply embarrassed about coming forward.
Romance fraudsters capitalise on the anonymity of social media and dating platforms. They use stolen photographs of attractive people to set up fake profiles and then, when they match with a target, they move the conversation to a different platform so that their dating account doesn't get flagged as spam. The perpetrator builds up a relationship with the target very quickly.
They volunteer personal information to establish emotional intimacy and they declare their undying love after just a few weeks. Eventually they tell the target that they have run into bad luck.
United Kingdom's favourite dating site for meaningful relationships | media-aid.com
They were mugged on the street or they just found out that a family member needs a life-saving operation. They arouse sympathy before they ask for money - if the victim hasn't already offered to give it. Some of the organised groups of scammers even hire psychologists to create scripts and processes that are more likely to work successfully.
So when we see an attractive profile on a dating site, and they initially appear to be very interested and sincere, we are more likely to overlook information that should be a red flag, warning us that things aren't right. Reports suggest that women in their forties and fifties are more likely to be the victims of romance scams. However, there are scams that specifically target men - younger men especially. At least five men in the UK and one man in Ireland - year-old Ronan Hughes from Co Tyrone - have taken their own lives after falling victim to online sextortion rackets.
While romance scammers use confidence tricks to gain a victim's trust, sextortion criminals ensnare their targets with titillating photos and sexually-charged messages. Before long the man is encouraged to perform a sexual act during an online video chat that is secretly recorded, and the footage is later used to blackmail him for large sums of money. Looking back, John thinks 'Sandra' might have been setting him up for this particular scam. John's experience raises a lot of questions about the safety of dating platforms, just as the case of Tinder rapist Patrick Nevin shone a light on the dark side of online dating.
How can we be sure that we're talking to who we think we're talking to on a dating platform? Is it easier for criminals and sexual predators to target people in a space where users can easily fly under the radar with fake profiles? And, more to the point, are these platforms doing enough to keep their users safe? The DRCC's recently-published annual report highlighted some worrying new trends, including "a number of clients who have reported being raped by people they met on a dating platform". Some of the newer dating platforms have made user-safety their USP: Bumble puts women in control of the connection; Once allows women to review the men they date.
The more established dating platforms, on the other hand, offer little more than a page of safety tips that reminds users to do their own "due diligence". Nicola thinks these safety tips could be more specific and better circulated.
Bad romance: The dark side of online dating
Noeline thinks an enhanced verification process could make a difference. Another idea, proposed by Fine Gael Senator Catherine Noone, is a legislative ban on sex offenders using dating apps. George Kidd, chief executive of the Online Dating Association - a standards body for the online dating industry - welcomes the proposal. That is a real aid if sites have no right of access to information on convictions," he says. But what is to stop a sex offender from creating a fake profile, asks Daragh O Brien, managing director of data protection consultancy Castlebridge.
The other issue, he says, is that the legislation could only be enforced against providers operating out of Ireland, and not providers operating out of other jurisdictions.
George says members of the Online Dating Association already have "robust conditions" on the behaviour of users and will "remove those who offend or may harm others". However, he acknowledges that they can always get better.
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The organisation is trying to centralise reports of dating fraud so that they can circulate them to companies in the sector. They are looking into ways that they can use charities, interest groups and social media to get safety messages out to users, "particularly those who might be new to apps and online dating", and they're working on a "Date Great: Undeterred, I moved on to my next challenge: I took my housemate, Charlie, to a boozy mini-golf night. Our inevitable unsuccessful attempts had us all in hysterics.
Although I was still nervous, after that initial approach, chatting to Rob note not Harold, as I'd guessed quickly felt as easy as talking to a mutual friend at a house party.
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We exchanged numbers and have been chatting ever since. I pictured professional, like-minded Londoners who'd signed up because they were too busy to go looking for dates, or perhaps even people who had "app fatigue", too.
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The awkward atmosphere of a party dedicated to the unlucky in love was downright painful. And while I tried chatting to another guy stuffing a burrito, he seemed more interested in the buffet than cracking on to me. This also meant I had to openly admit that I needed help with my love life, which was almost as scary as approaching strangers.
After hours of double-blue-tick anxiety, one friend finally came through. She gave me his first name Tom , a photo, and told me to head to a bar that night at 7: Of course, I really wanted to look him up on every social media site in order to prepare, but then I reminded myself that this was supposed to be real life. Tom was slightly late no biggie , and we immediately got chatting about American politics.
I remembered the advice James had told me when meeting someone for the first time: You want them to be intrigued about you and want the chance to find out more. Not knowing anything about each other meant Tom and I discovered things on equal terms, which was refreshing. He was funny, asked interesting questions, and showed me that dating IRL can be fun.
I guess therein lies a downside to dating apps. Swiping yes or no against hundreds of people fuels the need for perfection, which actually doesn't exist. Pushing myself out of my comfort zone, and actually looking at men outside of a screen has shown me just how many opportunities there are to meet people day to day.