- Dating a pregnant girl
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Wasn't a problem for me, and the only reason we didn't continue dating was her life became rightfully consumed with taking care of her child. I would imagine many men would be ok with it, though I think you'd have to establish a baseline relationship before you have your baby, if that makes sense? I only say that because the time commitments of a new-born and starting a new relationship are both fairly demanding, and obviously one trumps the other.
Dating a pregnant girl
Ok lots of assumptions with this one. Even if you don't want to hear people's assumption on this subreddit, people in real life will still assume that about you. It is just the way it is. Most will not even care of your personal background. Dad is not in the picture because he is a bad person? People will judge you for choosing bad partner to have a child with in the first place.
Dad is not in the picture because of death? There will still br judgement of 'why are you moving too fast? I do sincerely hope that you will find someone who will not judge you, but if we are being honest, we all know that it is not going to br easy. Read my other replies. Not all people hold to conventional views and not all people judge. I just feel like It seems very bizarre to me, but then again, I never want children.
This seems very judgmental. If she is financially secure and is preparing for her child's care in a responsible manner then I don't see what the problem is with her dating while pregnant, provided she fully discloses to interested parties of course. Just because she's pregnant doesn't mean she should give up on what she wants for herself. It's not judgmental to know a parent of a newborn is not going to have the emotional or physical energy to invest in a new romantic relationship. And personally, once you have kids, "what you want for yourself," should always take the backseat to what is best for your kid.
Newborns are more important than dating. As I've stated in a comment above Did the relationship I know of follow a traditional path?
Dating a pregnant woman : datingoverthirty
It was complicated and hectic and they had to get creative at times, but both parties were fully committed to each other and raising the child. That's the path they chose. Of course the baby is a priority - no one is arguing that. But just because OP is becoming a mom doesn't mean her needs should go neglected. If she can balance dating and a relationship in a healthy and responsible manner then more power to her!
Will it be tough? But it IS judgemental for a complete stranger to suggest she shouldn't do it. No one knows her situation, and unless you can produce irrefutable scientific evidence that it cannot happen then it IS possible. I'm sick of the narrative that parents should lose their own identity once they have a child.
As far as single moms, society just expects them to be invisible. One thought of what you want for yourself and you are labeled a bad mom. Nicely illustrating my point above.
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No one is going to suggest that a man with a pregnant ex has 'more important things' to do. Someone absolutely would suggest that. I would suggest that. Any woman I know would suggest that. Getting involved with either a pregnant woman or a man with a child on the way would not be ideal for the vast majority of people.
If you have an agenda to prove I think you're going about it in the wrong way. I would most certainly suggest that. I would hate to see my daughter dating somebody else's baby daddy. Any soon-to-be parent, male or female, is someone who I would be surprised to see dating. And I'm not seeing the motivation for anyone, male or female, to be interested in dating said soon-to-be parent.
The physical and hormonal realities of pregnancy are kind of not conducive to pursuing a new relationship. And afterwards, having a newborn is a HUGE deal and time and energy suck. Not to mention the emotions and complications around the relationship with the baby's other parent: Fortunately, your daughter presumably and the OP are adults and can make their own decisions about who they date, ideally free from unnecessary judgement. Are you really suggesting though that no one should date a man who already has children 'someone else's baby daddy'?
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I don't think there's much support for this view generally. Do the people you know undergo some kind of confinement when they're expecting? Just sitting around talking about and planning to be parents? When I was pregnant I continued to live my life: I stopped drinking and slept more but otherwise, the 'physical and normal realities of pregnancy' didn't stop me being a person with needs, desires and obligations. I worked, socialized, stayed out late, met new people. My then partner's life changed not at all. I honestly cannot see how his ex being pregnant would impact on a man's ability to date and it's quite frankly none of my business unless I'm dating him.
Having children of course would be a complication and newborns even more so, as they are high need. Other people's motivations are their own. Maybe they are more about the person and willing to make it work? In any case, I would still argue that society would deem it more problematic for a pregnant woman to be dating than her ex partner. Of course adults can make their own decisions.
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And the people who care about those adults, such as their parents, have an obligation to point out, kindly and without undue judgement, from the depths of their greater experience with life and relationships, that people with more complicated lives, such as a baby about to be born, are not the best candidates for serious relationships.
I'm sure soon-to-be-parents can make excellent casual sex partners, but that's not what I'm talking about, I should have clarified that. Of course there's nothing wrong with dating people who have children, I'm a parent and so is my SO. However someone with a very young child, such as a newborn?
Wouldn't that mean by definition that the breakup with their previous partner is still very recent? That in itself is a reason to be cautious about getting involved.
Again, casual sex is different. I don't have any children but sometimes I do want to have someone by my side. Being pregnant can be stressful. I understand she wants someone to be there, even just for fun. I'd be cool with it. In fact I may end up dating a pregnant woman; we are hooking up tomorrow to see if we are compatible. Slightly different in that she's still with her husband, and I'm married too. I think I'd still be cool with it outside a poly situation though. I asked my transdaughter-in-law, her brood of fertilised love-shapes told her that we're fine as long as it doesn't crash the group spreadsheet again.
My opinion is that the optimal situation to bring a child into the world is with two loving parents.
I would be questioning why this woman isn't with the father and why she is dating while pregnant. I would have concerns about her judgment in general and her judgment with people in particular if she couldn't find a man that she could get along with well enough to stay together with him at least long enough to see her pregnancy through. Some women who intentionally become single parents claim that they could just not find a proper match. My thinking is that if a person could not find someone they liked enough to couple with out of billions of extant men, then that person likely wouldn't find me suitable either so there would be no point in me dating her.
It went good so we went on a second then a third. It then blossomed into a beautiful relationship. After dating for a month or so her BD decided he wanted to be part of the babies life and wanted her back. At this point, our relationship had grown and we were falling for each other. She told BD that she wasn't going to leave me to go back with him but he could be part of the babies life. At this point I am very much in love with her as she is with me. I think what I am asking is for advice or input. Not all men can accept another mans child as their own, it's commendable.
Are you afraid she's going to leave you for her ex? He'll always have rights to his child but that doesn't mean her has rights where the mother is concerned so unless she's showing signs of leaving or being unhappy I wouldn't worry, I'd enjoy my relationship and family. You can also try posting on the relationships board, they may be more helpful than a debate board.