- Dating vs Courtship
- The Teaching Ministry of Mark Ballenger
- What’s the Difference Between Christian Courting and Dating? Which One Is Better for Christians?
- Courting vs Dating (Top 4 differences between courtship and dating)
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I don't want to date more than one guy at a time, but I might not want to marry that one guy, either. Does this mean we're just dating? These terms are often used interchangeably, depending on which one the person feels most comfortable using.
You never hear a non-Christian use this term at any time. So courtship, just as a term, has meaning and value to a Christian.
Dating vs Courtship
These two words, however, should NOT be used interchangeably. They are two very different words, with different meanings, and indicate two different places in the process towards marriage. There is a fundamental different between courtship and dating. Dating does not necessarily mean the persons are interested in marriage at all, let alone interested in determining if this person they are dating might be the person they should marry one day.
It is completely possible to date someone with absolutely no intention of considering them for marriage. Courtship, on the other hand, absolutely does have marriage in mind. To enter into courtship means to put a hold on considering any other person for marriage in order to focus on determining if this person you are courting is the one to become engaged to marry. Notice that courtship is not engagement. To become engaged to a person is to make a decision to marry. Those who enter into courtship are pretty sure they have found the one.
They are not going into courtship with any thought that it is not the one. Otherwise, they would not be exclusive. It is quite a big step to become formally exclusive with someone. It is a practice run of making the formal decision to forsake all others on the day you exchange vows.
In courtship, you do forsake all others, but not as a vow, but rather as a trial run. Because it means exclusivity, courtship needs to be a short period of time, and have a definitive end. It cannot be open ended. Otherwise, you risk hurting each other in a way you do not wish to, but can simply because you are not yet married. It risks looking like and acting like you are married, when you have not formally made the commitment. It risks giving in to the temptation to do that one thing reserved ONLY to married couples because you become so used to each other and, what the heck, you love each other and are practically married anyway, so why not?
The Teaching Ministry of Mark Ballenger
At the practical level, you want to be in courtship for a short time, with the agreement to get engaged or end the relationship at the end of that time period. This ensures that hearts are not too invested beyond repair, and that both persons are able to become available to new persons. Another reason courtship is usually entered into when both are pretty certain they have found the one is because the reality of starting over from scratch with a new person and going through the process again is draining and deflating. When you have done it once, you are not inclined to do it again.
Any spiritually minded, sincere person reading this courtship vs dating comparison would totally pick the courtship paradigm over the dating one.
What’s the Difference Between Christian Courting and Dating? Which One Is Better for Christians?
But the problem comes when you face the reality that the way some people actually implement courtship has been taken to extremes, and has painted "courtship" in a fanatical light. Read that post here. Dating in wider society is often portrayed as a feel-good experience.
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But if this is the foundation of a relationship, commitment is often trumped by chemistry and loyalty is often replaced with lust. Our struggle as human beings is maintaining balance. This is what one blogger said concerning courtship: Read here see how some people have carried the idea to extremes and their implementation has given the name a bad rep.
Courting vs Dating (Top 4 differences between courtship and dating)
Read here to see how it worked out perfectly fine for others. Your goal is to have a happy marriage and glorify God in the process. You can do that through arranged marriages, healthy dating or courtship. How the Courtship vs Dating Debate is Changing. You may also like Christian Courtship's Potential Pitfalls. How the Courtship vs Dating Debate is Changing If you were to ask me several years ago to give you a rundown of courtship vs dating I would have easily pulled out my notes and let it rip.
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Dating Paradigm Begins with romantic interest and curiosity as a foundation. Emotional attachments develop with no intention to marry. The goal is pleasure. Driven by feelings and impulse. Live in the moment mentality. Dating builds experience with the opposite sex and develops maturity.
Views sexual intimacy as something casual. Is always looking for relationships to fill the loneliness and boredom of life.