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- [INFJ] Tips for dating an INFJ guy
- 6 Things You Need To Know If You’re Dating An INFJ, The World’s Rarest Personality Type
While there are some INFJs who will have one-night-stands or enter casual relationships, most of us are interested in something long-term. This one is huge for INFJs. So if we start talking with you you need to listen.
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Also, we will be saying things non-verbally as well. We INFJs live in our heads. But unless we feel safe with you we will hesitate to share earlier. We want to listen to you as much as we want you to listen to us.
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Tell us about your hopes, dreams and plans. Share your fears, worries, and doubts.
Tell us about the things in your past that made you who you are now. Deep, meaningful discussions are a huge part of how we bond with other people. This is one of the most important things you need to realize about communicating with an INFJ. INFJs think in long-term, constantly developing patterns.
If you really want a complete, well-thought out answer all at one time your best bet is to give us time to write it down. Deception and manipulation are two of the biggest reasons INFJs leave relationships. We would far rather hear a truth that hurts us now than learn you were snaring us in a beautiful lie. It will affect how we feel about you because we see it as part of a pattern for predicting your future behavior.
Many INFJs are insecure about their worth and little gestures in this area go a long way toward reassuring us that yes, you really do want to be in a relationship with us. We love being around you. But there will still be times when we just need to get away and recharge. Better yet, hold space for us to spend time alone without making us feel guilty about it. INFJs are sometimes accused of being smothering, intrusive, and manipulative in how they show affection. That is not our intention. So let us shower you with love without worrying if we have some ulterior motive.
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And if we do seem a little obsessive over you, assume it will pass as we start to feel more secure in the relationship and learn how you prefer for us to to show our love for you. There are two big mistakes people make in handling conflict with INFJs: INFJs tend to be together in herds. They like writing, music, creativity, and spirituality. You'll probably find a whole herd of single INFJs at a church.
This particular personality is sensitive, even more so in dating than in friendship. They can write off the things of friends, but when it comes to dating — do not cancel on them, avoid being late, do be interesting, do be random, and do be spontaneous.
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They don't do well with boring. They're more likely to date, or rather, jump on the back of a motorcycle with a complete stranger because they're in their committed single phase than spend time with a guy who is so boring that he talks about the colors he likes to paint walls. To woo an INFJ, you should have a list of entertaining, bizarre activities to enjoy. They won't care if they go to it and hate it; the fact that it's original is so endearing and novel to them that they might not even know if the activity was a bust or not.
Just the fact that it was different is perfect. It's a far cry from boring. Avoid going out and getting drinks — this isn't going to be memorable.
[INFJ] Tips for dating an INFJ guy
INFJs like to have the most interesting dates possible, whether or not they tell you this. They love dates because they get to show off the spontaneous sides that they have while also having the ability to time everything mysteriously well. Does it seem like your INFJ has something stuck up their butt?
They don't always see this, but they can ramble on about a number of various subjects for ages. If you want to have something more sensual, you'll have to help frame that. Again, they're not going to do anything behind doors with you unless there's a pretty serious commitment on the table. They're not as big of prudes as you may think. In fact, they'll probably surprise you and themselves. Again, they have an unimaginable amount of energy coursing through their veins both intuitively and in the feeling department.
They're creative and know how to generally visualize and understand things. They can check off the bedroom as another activity that they've mastered. Before that, though, you have to build your trust with them. They won't give you a chance to see most sides of them, unless they feel that you've earned it. Giving an INFJ alcohol to try to help them connect with you can backfire wildly. It's like playing Russian Roulette. You don't know what's going to happen with this random person, and nor do they.
It could turn into a summersault of strange, embarrassing emotions, or the coolest and greatest thing you've ever seen. INFJs are not known for holding their liquor. It goes against their hardwiring. It's kind of like seeing a cross between a computer glitch and a freak out. It can be entertaining, but it isn't controllable. There's a lot that an INFJ is noticing about people, and when their lips are loose they can say too many things that are better left hidden. INFJs need time to think and ponder and marinate. Each interaction you give to an INFJ will be considered by them and reviewed often.
The words you say, the gifts, the way you touch them — it all will make them wonder if you are right for them. Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites. Wow, as the others already said, this is incredibly accurate, it made me smile in a silly way, thank you: Just to let ladies know being an INTP, the whole things about aggressively pursing a woman and figuring out how to seduce them in dating is boring to me I'd rather pal around with a woman and be friends, maybe it's the Sagittarius in me IDK.
Not every guy is into trying to get into a woman's skirt as fast as possible Science and research are great, but some of these devices like Myers Briggs really cut to the point when it comes to internal logic, which isn't always easy to test or explain. Not all things can be quantified, which is why we use theory -- because theory is more dimensional and allows for interpretation of facts, experiences, and the like. Myers Briggs is still active in pockets, even if science wants to shrug it off -- but a lot of science doesn't like dealing with this type of reasoning because it's too fluid, unpredictable by their standards , and less formulaic.
You can find a great deal in Myers Briggs, if you want to find it. I am an INJF and have taken this test ad-naseum and rarely has but one character varied. Until recently this was thought a psychologically sound test. Now psychology is all about measuring, data, frequency, latency, and is it observable. So much of this is spot on. Too aggressive actually sends me running for the hills, lol.
INFJ do like a good amount of conversation and mental stimulation. It's going to be hard for them to feel like they have enough room to express themselves with a slow witted partner. Getting drinks is good—but only if the conversation is interesting. I like low key and simple because it focuses my attention on the other person, and there are minimal distractions, allowing me to make my judgements and work out how I feel.
6 Things You Need To Know If You’re Dating An INFJ, The World’s Rarest Personality Type
Coming home from dates that require a lot of energy makes me feel like I haven't made any progress in sorting out my feelings, even if I've had fun. On the other hand, if we're having drinks and I'm solely responsible for keeping the conversation ball in the air and coming up with new topics, I'm going to exhaust quickly and not invite him in when he takes me home.
I don't know if other INFJs are the same way, but I so prefer great back and forth conversation to any other experience. Even if he's emphatically disagreeing with me, if his reasoning is solid and interesting, I enjoy the push back.