- 16 Indian Dating Culture - Customs and Relationships - media-aid.com
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- Date, kiss or marry ... how Tinder is rewriting India’s rules of engagement
Spurred by apps such as Tinder, Woo and TrulyMadly , the old tradition of arranged marriage is giving way to a new, westernised style of dating, where growing numbers of people are choosing to date for fun, without the end goal of marriage. Exposure to western culture has seen the gradual breakdown of the traditional Indian family; arranged marriages have become less formal; more people are choosing to live in separate homes to their parents or in-laws; and dating and sex out of wedlock are becoming increasingly common.
By doing so, the government has drawn an invisible line between those who want to date, and those who want to marry, as though the two groups are unrelated.
Self-segregation between these two groups already exists. In the past decade, hundreds of matrimonial websites, such as shaadi. Unlike Tinder, or other dating apps that have a reputation for being hook-up platforms, these matrimonial sites draw people looking for lifelong partners. In these speedy marriages, which often happen for financial reasons, or because of family pressure, people fall in love after the wedding rather than before it.
I love Chinese food and he hates it. The party champions economic growth and material progress, but has always been traditionalist in its approach to matters of the heart. In response, thousands of Indians took part in a nationwide kissing protest.
16 Indian Dating Culture - Customs and Relationships - media-aid.com
Kissing has always been taboo in India and the film censor board — headed by Pahlaj Nihalani, a vocal BJP supporter — has often asked for on-screen kisses or intimacy to be cut short or removed , most famously in the latest James Bond film. There is no need to exhibit.
These things are so personal. Sex, too, is kept in check by conservative-minded politicians. Oral and anal sex are banned — rendering gay sex virtually impossible. Casual relationships are still uncommon and those who choose to date often have to deal with gossip, ostracism and moral judgment.
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Women, particularly, are considered promiscuous if they lose their virginity before marriage and are less likely to find a suitor if they have been seen with another man. For Khan, these conservative attitudes make dating extremely difficult.
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Like many young Indians, he lives with his parents. Telling them that he is going on a date is out of the question, let alone bringing the girl home if the date goes well. Sex has to happen in the back seat of a car or in a hotel room. It is very expensive. The logistics of dating are difficult, and opportunities to meet people are few. Taru Kapoor, head of Tinder India, says: Indian culture dictates that men and women do not interact with each other if they do not know each other.
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When dating, the couple already knows each other and is more comfortable with the safety of the date. In India, approximately 80 percent of marriages are still arranged and couples do not date until the the arrangement has been made. In American culture, it is perfectly acceptable to play the field and date several people at once. Dating is just as much of a social outing as it is a means to meet a prospective mate.
In East Indian cultures, monogamy among married couples is the standard and dating is not typically allowed until a marriage has been agreed to. Most Indian people only date this one person their whole lives. Exceptions are made in larger, more westernized cities such as Delhi and Mumbai where males and females have more interaction with each other before marriage. In most American dating cultures, promiscuity is the social norm.
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Women feel increasing pressure to carry on intimate relationships with men they do not intend to marry, and these relationships, though not highly prized, are socially acceptable. In East Indian dating cultures, promiscuity is extremely taboo and even limited encounters between males and females is strictly reserved for marriage. Most Indians maintain their chastity until they are married or face ostracism by the community as well as parents.
Date, kiss or marry ... how Tinder is rewriting India’s rules of engagement
Online dating has become increasingly popular in American culture. Many men and women sign up for dating sites as a means of meeting someone they are more compatible with but might not have otherwise run into in their daily lives. A recent report mentions that more than 30 percent of Americans look for potential and compatible mates online. Indian dating communities are more geared toward matrimony than casual dating or compatibility.
Based in southern Virginia, Kristy Robinson has been writing for various websites since Her work focuses on tutorials and self-help articles.