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- Dating in China – My Guangzhou Year
- Dating in China – My Guangzhou Year | Ray-Comics
These criticisms are 1 patronizing to the women who date foreign guys 2 slightly xenophobic and 3 not entirely unfounded. Not all, but some. Yet, the thing that tends to be left out of this discussion in the Chinese blogosphere, is that the people themselves are only acting as agents for the cultures in which they grew up.
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The heart of this issue comes from the fact that dating, relationships and sex in Western countries is far more casual than in China, even in bigger, more metropolitan cities like Beijing and Shanghai. What is not on the table, in most cases, is sex. The parents will get a say in the matter, if not out-right organize the whole relationship. On top of this, the parents are also heavily influenced by their neighbors and siblings and grandparents and the security guard and the vegetable lady they buy xincai from, right on up to Xi Jinping himself. If you are dating a Chinese, this will be an issue, because they will feel the downward pressure from everyone above them in the generational line.
Even if a girl or guy feels more independent and wants to date whoever they want, they will almost always take these family ideas into consideration, even if only on a subconscious level. For many of us, China is just a pit stop.
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Possibly a seven or eight year pit stop, but a pit stop nonetheless. That being said, if you are able to provide that stability, even if you are a foreigner, you will have a much easier time with the potential in-laws. If things are going well with your Chinese partner and you can really see a legitimate future together, there will come a day when you have to make a decision about where to live and raise a family.
With these thoughts in mind, remember that the cross-cultural street goes both ways. Tell us a little about yourself so we can customize your site experience. All comments are subject to moderation by eChinacities.
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Because we wish to encourage healthy and productive dialogue we ask that all comments remain polite, free of profanity or name calling, and relevant to the original post and subsequent discussion. Comments will not be deleted because of the viewpoints they express, only if the mode of expression itself is inappropriate. Please login to add a comment. Click here to login immediately. I am a 50 yr old man never married no kids I have a relationship with a 22 yr old lady never married no kids we both are virgin will be till we marry im unable to work because a accident years ago I do get a income every month its not much im not wealthy don't have my own house I have a disability have physical limitations he knows this as her parents know this According to my government through immigration I make only half of the required income to qualify to support a foreign wife to marry in America but if I marry her in china after she meets me in my country then takes me to china with her to meet her parents we marry there then being im her sponsor im her spouse im related to her by marriage both of our incomes will be combined as a 1 household income now my government will allow me to marry her being the income requirement has been met But, in order to be allowed to marry her in china what are the requirements her government wants me to have?
I need to know this info. Jun 13, May 13, Got that "Green Card" for being married and in China for 5 years yet? You know the one that allows you to work past 60, to come and go without visas or registering with the PSB, to live a a life without looking over your shoulder or wondering if your contract will be renewed next year. Apr 15, Unfortunately most of the article and the comments do not reflect anything close to my experience in China.
I lived in China for 5 years. I was in Beijing for 1 and a half years and moved to Yiwu. Also, males and females are brought up to not interact with each other.
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Boys form close friendships with other boys, girls with girls. What this does is it creates a barrier between the sexes, and many young men and women find it extremely difficult to start dating. From what I gather, this thread seems to have a very negative view of Chinese women. Dating in China is not that much different than dating in the US. The same qualities sought after by women in China are the ones that are sought after by women in the states and all over the world In China they have a saying that women want tall, rich, and cute — gao, fu, shuai.
And just like women all over the world, Chinese girls will take a variety of things into account when choosing a guy, money being one of them. Would you be willing to marry into the family of a farmer?
Choices like this are very common throughout China and given this choice, most western women would choose the same. Can you blame them? Marriage in China is much more sacred than it is in the United States, you get to have 1 child for your entire life, you are expected to have that child before 25, and when you get married, you are expected to stay married. Getting divorced is highly frowned upon regardless of the situation, and your damaged reputation might prevent you from ever remarrying.
I can say that I know for a fact that western women can and do break up with men for exactly the same reasons that Chinese women. Chinese women, more often than not, are just like normal girls. The international students who go to my University many of whom came from fabulously wealthy families were more than willing to date non-wealthy guys, even guys like me who look Chinese and speak Chinese eliminating foreign mystique.
Most of them were getting a degree so they could find a decent job and support themselves back in China. I suspect that middle class girls who actually live in China are not much different.
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That being said, I do understand the plight of men in China because my parents are constantly talking about my cousins in the country. While it is not impossible to find a woman, it has become a bit more difficult due to the population gap. Women are just more choosy than they use to be. My parents are constantly asking me to try to help my cousins find girls. The standard thinking is you need to own property before you can even think about starting a family or dating seriously, for that matter.
This, combined with low wages even by Asian standards and high property prices even by Western standards, at least in Shanghai , combined with the skewed gender ratio, makes it frustrating for the average Chinese male. On top of this is the fact that a lot of Chinese males are, quite frankly, boring. All of my Chinese male friends are single, and honestly, none of them have very appealing personalities.
The future looks grim for them. The only one I know about is: Essentially, since everyone expects to purchase their own place, the males are driven to be more competitive and more successful if they want any shot at finding a partner.
Dating in China – My Guangzhou Year
I've traveled on business for the past 10 years. Finally was able to land work here, so now I work from home. It's so nice seeing my daughters every day. I'm midwest grown and raised. I am Leo, cm 5' 2'' , 75 kg lbs. I am new in the city of London and would like to meet new people.
I am Capricorn, cm 5' 9'' , 73 kg lbs. Yuriy5 , 47 y. I am Sagittarius, cm 5' 8'' , 75 kg lbs. I'm Ukrainean and would like my significant other to be Ukrainean too. I want to find a reliable, kind, loyal, cheerful, interesting, honest and sensitive with good sense of humor woman, my real second half for serious.. I am Gemini, cm 6' 3'' , 77 kg lbs.
Dating in China – My Guangzhou Year | Ray-Comics
I am a good person who is kind, respectful and loving, who seeks a woman with similar traits who would like to travel, hike, swim, exercise, and grow to know each other. IamScubaDog , 52 y. I am Capricorn, cm 5' 8'' , 67 kg lbs.