- Gentleman's Guide To Hookups - AskMen
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- Gentleman's Guide To Hookups
What to talk about? Address the elephant in the room because it will probably be awkward in the beginning.
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Take the lead and start talking about relationships in general and how they simplify life, what their meaning is and how great they are when you find a great person. You will notice how she acts, feels, and reacts to this topic so you adjust to her. Ask the things that reveal her character to you. That is how you will deepen the relationship you two have, move it from only physical to emotional and convey to her that you are interested in her. And by interested, I mean not just in her physique, but also her brains, emotions, and life. Keep on calibrating your approach to the questions and make it a conversation, not an interrogation.
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You have a boat? Business was going good so I got myself one last year. And the conversation could continue in so many different ways, all beneficial for you if you used the second approach.
Instead of telling her how cool, brave, rich, smart, reliable you are, simply show her that through your lifestyle. Simply live your life as you live it per usual and simply show her that. You can simply take her to your favorite coffee shop where the staff treats you like family, or invite her over for a movie where she can see the pictures from your travels on your apartment walls. When she sends you a message or demands that you talk to her, invest time in her and in general be available to her, you need to chill out a bit and not respond immediately.
Because you have just shown her your cool life and now, she is hooked on you and she wants to get to you know you more. If you take a ball of string and tease the cat with it, holding it so close but yet out of the reach, she will constantly jump around to take it, thus keeping itself interested in it. If the cat gets the ball, she will play with it for a while but then lose interest. So by making yourself there, but a bit out of reach, she will simply want you more. This basically means that she should know that you have other girls in your life and that other girls want your time.
You can use social media effectively for this by showing off with other girls via Facebook, Instagram or Snapchat. Brand of any company is a perceived value and you as a guy can have the same thing. We want more of the things we perceive valuable and if other people want it to, then the perceived value of the item grows.
So the more women want you, the more value you will appear to have. Ok, you are a busy guy with an amazing lifestyle and a lot of girls around you. If you make her feel this important in your life by making her your world for the next one or four hour, you will get yourself a great girlfriend. Wow, what a boring movie… I mean person. Leave many places mysterious but you can drop some small hints here and there.
Let her want to know you more and explore everything you are instead of you simply telling her everything. And she will be on a quest to discover who you are. Remember the cat string theory here — give her just enough to keep her hooked but not everything to grow bored. I did this thing with an audience of people when I started telling them about my internship to Russia. So the authorities deported me back to Turkey.
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Gentleman's Guide To Hookups - AskMen
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That being said, it's always better to be slightly over-dressed than under-dressed. There's no harm in wearing a button down out or throwing on a blazer if you're unsure about how formal you need to be on a night out.
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If you're unsure, I recommend taking the formality one baby-step up from what you think is okay. Being slightly over-dressed will make you seem more adult and believe me, ladies like a guy who can rock some form-fitting slacks. Have a designated power outfit for going out. Have an outfit in your closet that you know you look good in and feel like a badass in. This way if you don't know what to wear on any given night, you always have something ready to go that you know you're going to feel confident in.
Facial hair for a man is either a thing of pride or a huge point of anxiety. There doesn't seem to be much in between. And because facial hair is on your face it's just as important — if not more so — than what you choose to wear. If you're capable of growing a full-on mountain man beard then, by all means, go for it. Beards are sexy, but nasty beards are the absolute worst. There should be nothing in your beard other than some nice-smelling beard oil. Your face foliage should be completely free of crumbs and other debris that might find their way into your facial plumage. To prevent your magnificent whiskers from becoming any less than well-groomed wash your beard, oil it, and keep it well trimmed.
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If you don't trust yourself around scissors, then find the best barbershop in town and make a regular customer out of yourself. And when you're out on dates, hanging with a regular hookup, or going out on the town, keep a comb in your pocket. This way you can keep any crumbs out of your beard and keep it looking bomb for the ladies. Now, if there is any doubt that your facial hair actually connects or that it looks good… it's time to be honest with yourself.
Don't try to attempt going full-on-brawny-man if your facial hair looks more like fuzz than forest. Keep your facial hair to a nice 5 O-clock shadow that frames your face an accentuates your jawline. Or just accept that you can't grow a beard and embrace the babyface. If you're expecting to bring a lady friend back to your place, the state of your apartment is going to be just as important as your state of dress — if not slightly more important. Similar to your outfit, your apartment is a direct reflection of you and whether or not you're an absolute mess.
Gentleman's Guide To Hookups
So if your apartment looks like a hurricane just passed through, you have some work to do my friend…. Does your apartment remotely resemble the aftermath of a frat party? Can you remember the last time you did dishes? How old is the food in your fridge? Are your sheets soaked in so much bodily-fluids that they're stiff? Dude, get your shit together. If you want to bring a girl back to your place, you shouldn't have to worry about losing her in a mountain of laundry or that stack of empty pizza boxes collapsing on her. If you want to get laid and have her potentially coming back for more, you need to step up your cleaning game.
Before having a girl over, or going out with the expectation of bringing a girl home, clean your fucking house. Do your dishes, or at least hide them in the dishwasher — hell, why not run it while you're at it. Put your laundry away, or at least pile it in your closet and close the door. And change your sheets, or at least make your bed and spray it with some Fabreeze. It doesn't matter how well you dress if your apartment is destroyed. You're going to look like a slob.