I'm just hoping that we have an advantage since we already were long distance. So we don't have the struggle of going from seeing each other every day to only seeing each other every couple of month, cos we were already at that point.. Odds are against you for two reasons.
For the first half of the service, usually girls break up the relationship for obvious reasons. For the second half, guys actually break up with the girl because they feel responsible for the relationship, obligated to marry the girl who waited 2 years for them. So it's not only on you to prepare for the hardship, but your boyfriend also has to endure through it. Yes we talked about that too. We both agreed we don't want to make each other wait for the other, but as long as we still want to talk to each other we'll stay in contact as much as we can.
And he defo won't have to marry me after his service, as we're both still in school hahaha. Did you agree that you can bang other other people? No sex for two years is usually what causes horny youngsters like yourselves to break up. Since we've been long-distance our whole relationship we already had that agreement haha, so that won't be a problem for us. We met online when he was in the US for uni and I was in Korea for exchange.
He came back for holidays twice and we started dating. After that I moved back to Europe and he moved back to Korea, managed to visit each other again but now he's in the army. So we've had pretty bad timing haha.
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Oh, so it hasn't been long distance the whole time. I thought you'd never met face to face! We've just always been living in different countries, only being able to see each others 2 weeks at a time. So whenever we are in different countries we have an open relationship, so we don't have to break up over "i wanna have sex more often than once every 4 months".
The military service is also the ultimate test of faith for this reason. Chances are, if the relationship didn't last the military service, it wasn't worth it in the first place. So if you do make it, the relationship is ironclad. A relationship doesn't need to be lifelong in order to be "worth it". As long as two people had a good time and learned something, then it might have been a good relationship, even if it was short. Different cultures, different standards.
Korean Dating and Sex Terms
Some cultures actually value commitment and responsibility in a relationship, and not just "having a good time" Some people would rather not have wasted time in a relationship that turned out to have none of these things from the very start. Of course different people can have different expectation. Nobody starts a relationship with the goal of breaking up. What I'm saying is that a relationship is not a goal but a journey. Even if your journey doesn't end up where you expected it to, you walked a long way and even went to places to didn't think existed.
Saying the journey was a failure would be missing the point, it was neither a failure or a success, it was a journey. Which is why towards the end of the service, a lot of guys break up the relationship because girls think the relationship is ironclad and the guys feel pressured. It's a double edged sword tbh. I mean if both are mature enough to be sure about their future, it's a good thing, but if not, it's bad.
Want to add to the discussion?
Also the korean department of defense is looking into allowing soldiers to use their phones while on base, so in the near future while you may not see him in person, you can stay in touch. The uniformed life is hard, especially for those who are at the bottom of the food chain. I still have all my letters from when I was enlisted, and letters you send him, no matter how long or short will help him tremendously. Thank you for your response!
How much holidays did you get? He was talking about 3 times 10 days off, which would be pretty doable to for me to visit. I will definitely be sending him letters! I am just waiting for when we get to know his squad number and I'll be writing like crazy ;. The army gives you 28 days to be exact, which he can split and use whenever as long as it does not overlap with others.
However it is customary to use 10 days during his private first class 7 months and 9 days each when he is corporal 7 months and sergeant 3 months. Other than the standard vacations, he can get rewarded for his actions and may receive short periods of leave every few months. Usually the average soldier will have received around 70 days of vacation by the end of his service.
Of which most soldiers choose to save around days so they can prepare their return to civilian life during their last months of duty. So around 50 days divided by 16 months is around 3 days per month. Not that bad mirite? Yea that sounds pretty doable tbh. Thanks for all the info!! Yeah I'll talk to him about that. I also heard from someone how to use a proxy to fake a korean number, so I think that would be a good option. If he is a translator I think it's unusual to have your job determined without even starting basic , there's a good chance that he would be in a city and, perhaps more importantly, be in an office with access technically illegal to a computer that helps him in stay in touch with you.
Ordinary soldiers, particularly those in the field, get little to no access to the Internet, but if you work in an office, this gets much easier caveat: If he's in a city, this would be likely more comfortable for him and potentially easier for you to visit him or, particularly if you want to spend a semester or some period of time in Korea while he's there. It could still be tough, but at least on the surface, it sounds like he'll be more comfortable than most. Apologies, I remember hearing enlisted soldiers talk about the perks working in an office at a computer all day.
He had to apply for the position of translator before going to basic, after taking the test he got accepted into the program apparently only like 50 people a year get into that program, so thats pretty cool. My closest Korean friend is in the military here. Most of our correspondence is through phone calls, which were very sparse during training. If you're overseas, it's going to be challenging to get in touch with him. See if you can get a Korean proxy phone google voice or such that he can call through domestic lines.
Dating during military service : korea
I looked into google voice for a bit, but don't you need an American phone number for that? OP said they are back in their own country, so I don't know where that is but maybe it has GVoice support? Perhaps Skype or something else can do international landline calls. My home country is the Netherlands, so that's where I am right now.
Not sure if it has google voice support, i'll look into it.
I'll have to look into the whole proxy thing a bit more since I don't know anything about it haha. Jesus f Christ a long distance relationship with a military service on top, I feel sorry for you.
I see someone who has an experience left a comment so I won't say much but: Think of it as a 2 years of prison life. Makes it much easier to understand and prepare. Do you remember their channel?