- 5 Lessons I Learned from Going On a Relationship Cleanse
- Why I'm Giving Up On Dating and Finding a Wife: Love is Dead
- Most Helpful Girl
- Why I'm Giving Up On Dating and Finding a Wife: Love is Dead - GirlsAskGuys
Or something like that. Getting straight-A report cards or landing big assignments were little "accomplishment" highs that helped carry me through even emotionally crummy periods of my life. Focusing extra time on that major aspect of my life again? I realized that I've always been happier when I'm motivated, working on projects I feel are worthwhile, and intellectually expanding—something that often got lost as I grew into adulthood, felt pressure to couple along with my friends, and started dating more seriously.
I'm quite sure I'll never lose sight of that truth again. Having a stable friendship base in your life can help you make better decisions in love. One of the best decisions I made for my romantic life had nothing to do with dating prospects, and everything to do with making great adult friends. I used my relationship cleanse to really focus on surrounding myself with encouraging, vibrant, supportive, genuine human beings. This wasn't an easy process; like romantic relationships, friendships aren't built overnight. You need to meet like-minded people, invest your time, support each other through big milestones, and eventually form lasting bonds.
That said, it's one of the best decisions of my life. When I broke up with my ex, I had a dwindling college friend circle. I had also just experienced a major "breakup" with my lifelong, childhood best friend. I suddenly woke up one day boyfriend-less and nearly friend-less, which was insanely difficult. It was also the fire I needed to start building friendships based in common interests and similar life goals, instead of simply adopting people based on proximity what we do through most of our younger years. Today, I feel there is zero chance I'll make a romantic decision out of loneliness or societal pressure; I'll only date or couple up because I truly want to , as my life is otherwise full with amazing people who support me in non-romantic ways.
And that's more than enough to tide me over until I am really excited about the potential of a maybe-relationship with someone new.
5 Lessons I Learned from Going On a Relationship Cleanse
Knowing yourself is incredibly important for your health. When you are in a relationship, you're integrating your life with a partner's, adopting mutual goals and routines—which is why breakups are so darn difficult. You need to disentangle your life from another person's, and decide which desires are truly your own. I wanted to do that in the extreme sense; soon after I broke up with my ex, I rented a fifth-floor apartment in downtown Ann Arbor, and decided to live on my own for the first time ever. The beauty of this change was that no one and nothing dictated my day-to-day decisions.
I began taking long walks by myself, to detach from social media and email, process thoughts for my book, and stay healthy. I focused on eating better, and exactly what I wanted. I occasionally took "single girl" days devoted solely to cheesy rom-com Netflix binges and wine, in which I talked to very few people. This was all self-care for my soul, and I found out who I was in a big way. Interestingly, while I regularly felt lonely in my bad relationship, I found that, over time, I very rarely felt lonely on my own.
And that's powerful, to know I can be fully comfortable in my own skin, with my own hobbies and routines.
Why I'm Giving Up On Dating and Finding a Wife: Love is Dead
Introversion is not necessarily an attractive quality unless you're also looking for a woman who just likes to sit at home all day and read books or something, and when you look for specifics in dating, like an ideal body weight or a certain annual salary, is when you have less options to choose from. If you have chosen to give up, then that is your decision. In my experience, the best things in life have happened when I least expected them to. The more you search for something the more desperate you become every day that you didn't get it. I don't believe that if a woman approaches you, you're going to immediately assume she is a gold-digger and wave her off.
You'll probably give her a chance and see where it might lead.
Most Helpful Girl
Have you tried being jacked, alpha and fun? Physique can be great but facial symmetry is much more important than physique since I have seen skinny guys with good looks get more girls than average looking guys with muscle. Just get money and stop being a lazy cunt.
Sometimes you put yourself in a theoretically winning position, and fixing yourself. Only to realise that when you reach your goal, the major problem was never that in the first place, and that your faults are way beyond how jacked or not you look. They're all jacked and handsome, well groomed - I always think what a waste of a male. They could have any chick they want, and get laid like crazy.
They all look like they stepped off the cover of GQ or Men's Fitness. So apparently I have to be fitness expert to get a single date? Let me guess I should be alpha too?
Pass, they need to curb unrealistic expectations. I feel your pain. I can see that you've been on a long and brutal losing streak. However, it seems like you've made a decision that you really don't want to make. FYI, the next step in your evolution is to just not give a fuck. I'm a half way decent looking guy and when I was younger I was rejected by several women who looked like absolute dogs because they thought that they deserved the almighty alpha male. I made the mistake of setting my sights low in the hopes of finding someone who had more realistic expectations.
In reality, I was seeing 10, young women lining up for every one alpha male, and they wouldn't settle for anything less. Then, when these women reached their mid 30's, and they're obese and never married, they'd ask "where have all the good men gone? Nevertheless, you're making the right decision at the right time.
These days relationships are disposable anyway, and it's usuially the women who end up disposing of them. Think of all the money you'll save by not having to make those child support payments. Maybe it's time for you to explore the prostitute option? Chin up and don't get down on yourself! The dating scene is a cesspool and the marrage trap is financial suicide.
What I'm saying is that your situation could be much worse than it is right now. Given that there are 7 billion people on this planet, there are plenty of people who find love. Those who don't need to do some soul searching to see what exactly they are offering. For every gold digging woman, there are hundreds who are not.
The basic pyramid structure of our society will tell you there's a whole lot of poor people and a handful of rich. There wouldn't be enough wealthy men to go around.
When millions of people have no problems finding someone to love, that would seem to me that the problem lies in the individual. Just by my observations, those who are on the extreme side of introverted, social awkwardness and social incompetence will be the ones most likely to be alone forever. These people tend to be highly intelligent and technical, but lack any emotional understanding - hence they do not connect well with others and work best alone.
You may need to do some soul searching and reflect on the type of person you are. Often, one's own perception of themselves is based on their over-inflated ego. Basically, when you are the only one who thinks highly of you, you're probably the dick who nobody likes. Since everyone is a different individual and "nobody could ever possibly understand the depths of you".
Among my friends, I have seen a very similar trend among their relationship. But then, there are a few that only get into long-term relationships that always last several years. And sadly, there are a few who get into week-long relationships and it's like a new boyfriend every week. I don't mean one person bouncing from short and long term relationships. I consider myself a proficient observer of people And I know exactly what they're doing that messes up their relationships.
For some, it's a short temper, intolerance of other opinions or just an overly high opinion of themselves. However, I suspect that most of the breakups are for the same or similar reason. He seems to believe the BS that girls tell him i. But he's probably targetting those types of women just based on his personal preference e.
I can say with certainty that I've never dated a gold digging girl. Most felt bad for me spending too much on them.
Why I'm Giving Up On Dating and Finding a Wife: Love is Dead - GirlsAskGuys
I mean, okay, I get yr point with the women who want designer everythings But what happens if something unexpected occurs and you become bankrupt or in serious financial debts such as from some unexpected and serious illness or trauma. Those medical bills can drain you quickly.
Unless somehow the BOTH of you are wealthy this might not be a big deal, but if your partner wasn't financially stable and had lots of financial debts too then that would be problematic.