- 40 Days of Dating: An Experiment: Jessica Walsh, Timothy Goodman: media-aid.com: Books
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This experiment has made me extremely self-aware and confident in who I am, what I want, and what I am looking for. That being said, there is no rush, and I want to take some time to myself after this.
40 Days of Dating: An Experiment: Jessica Walsh, Timothy Goodman: media-aid.com: Books
I want to focus on my work, friends, and family. We shared the cab ride home together. The driver dropped Tim off at his apartment first. We looked at the clock and realized it was We laughed at the irony. Tim jumped out of the cab, and grabbed something out of his luggage. He handed me a square package. He gave it back to me with illustrations of 40 things he likes about me. It was one of the sweetest and most thoughtful gifts anyone has ever given to me. And as if we were in some sort of twisted fairytale, he left me at the stroke of midnight with the gift and a goodbye kiss.
We stayed in bed a while, cuddling and talking. It was really nice. Finally, we got up and went out to Animal Kingdom all day where we had a lot of fun.
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By the end, she got really sick from the combination of walking around in the heat and drinking alcohol. I practically had to carry her from the bus to the hotel lounge.
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Later, we hung out by the pool separately and I watched the Knicks lose to the Celtics. We said one word on the way to the airport, and we said maybe two words on the plane. I could barely look at her on that flight.
She was downing wine, and I was doing anything I could to stay distracted. I feel horrible about what happened last night. I just feel like such a disappointment to her and myself. It seemed inevitable that all the pressure would make this blow up.
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I just wish I could make this a happy story. Our memories are a not a waste, though. Did you learn anything new about Jessica? Today was very carefree, and it made me feel like a kid again. I guess sometimes we can be us, even for a day. We never talked about last night, instead we went strolling, drinking, eating bad food, sneaking into rides, and doing it all with ease.
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Maybe we should have seen this coming the whole time. While I feel exhausted from it all right now, I also feel a real sense of hope for myself. This has completely challenged my personal life, the way I conduct myself, the way I approach relationships, how I consider the consequences of my actions, and my ability to let a woman into my life emotionally.
There was also a sweet card inside. Ultimately I think we make a great couple on paper, but reality is a completely different story. Selfishly, part of me wishes that she could be more of an aggressor, someone who would try to convince me to change my mind just once. Maybe she gives up too quickly. Maybe she just loves love.
My whole life has been turned inside out from this crazy experiment. I do want to be in a relationship. I do want something meaningful. They have lived to tell their story, and to inform society. That gives me a lot of solace. While I do feel heartbroken right now, I feel a tremendous amount of hope for my future. On the cab ride home, we barely spoke. We did, however, agree that everything would be okay no matter where we go from here. Tim seems extremely overwhelmed by the idea of having to see me every day for this project. He almost had a panic attack when I sent him a list of date ideas for the next week!
I do love to plan things and have a schedule. However, I also greatly enjoy spontaneity. So far so good. In therapy we talked about how I am extremely picky about who I date. However, when I do decide I really like someone, I am quick to jump into a relationship in order to test it out and see how it goes. I become extremely invested in people and things that I care about, which can cause me to fall for someone quickly. Tim thinks I should be more cautious….
Tim is right, I do love love. Apparently, the feeling of falling in love is wired in us to help the survival of our species. While sexual desire exists to make sure we pop out babies, the feelings of love exists to promote bonding and pairing between mates to increase the survival rate of the children. Chemicals like dopamine and norepinephrine are released when in love.
The chemicals increases energy, increases focus, and helps make us feel fucking awesome all the time. In fact, research shows brain activity in love is almost identical to our brain activity on cocaine. We went to our first therapy session together. I think it was a bit soon for this, but our therapist Jocelyn wanted to have a consultation first.
Why are you doing this project? What is the goal of this project? Do you want to date each other? Are you ready to be hurt? What happens if you screw up your friendship? And on and on and on! I almost had a panic attack. However, neither Jessie or I would have talked about this stuff so soon without having the therapist as a soundboard. I think it was helpful.
But I do save money, while I think she spends. I get uncomfortable talking about what could happen in the next 40 days.
Sagmeister & Walsh
I was sort of freaking out after therapy. I was texting with one of my best friends, Greg in Chicago, and he told me to just have fun with it. So, I want to make sure I just have fun with it.