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- Top dating, relationship and sex tips for wheelchair users
- I'm In A Wheelchair: 5 Ways Dating Can Be Super Dark
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Sometimes it feels like avoiding the questions altogether is the solution. Can I have relations with this person?
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How will this wheelchair effect our future together? Well, the best thing you can do is stop asking. The fact is that every mobility device user has a different story.
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This means that mobile device users each have different levels of mobility. One date may be able to move their legs, while another may not. Each experience will be completely unique. The people who share their stories have said they have very healthy intimate relationships. It all depends, again.
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While you might want to know right away, do avoid asking. You have to remember when dating someone in a wheelchair the their independence is important to them. They want you to ask. They want to show you that they are capable of doing everything for themselves.
Top dating, relationship and sex tips for wheelchair users
They want you to get to know them and they want to get to know you. So, forget everything you thought you knew.
Go out and learn for yourself. I am over September 1, September 12, Wheelchair Dating. We have regular meetups across the UK, as well as online chat groups. Of course, meeting somewhere accessible for you is key. Be open and honest about your requirements. If your date also has access requirements, work together to decide what would suit you both best. For example, you could have a drink or dinner, or go to the cinema where there is wheelchair-accessible space next to an additional seat.
Make sure your date knows about it beforehand though. If they seem curious, encourage them to ask questions. Be open and relaxed about it — the more uninhibited you are about your wheelchair, the less they will be. If they seem receptive, invite your date to take your hand, or otherwise guide it.
I'm In A Wheelchair: 5 Ways Dating Can Be Super Dark
It may be difficult to be hugged in your wheelchair. Again, be open and tell them to lean forward to hold you as close as they can. One person, for example, may have more feeling in their upper body nipples, mouth etc and another may have very sensitive legs but have no feeling in their genitals. You may find this out by yourself, but probably not — it needs to be talked about. There are erogenous zones in the earlobes and on the nape of the neck, so a head massage is a great way to feel stimulated. Have you considered sex or foreplay in your chair, or even your hoist? What about having your partner laid on the bed while you stay in your chair pleasuring them?
Explore this with your partner — it might make it even more fun. But why not make a game of it? Maybe plan to be waiting for your partner in bed naked after your PA has got you ready?
Tips For Dating Someone In A Wheelchair
Or how about asking them to help you get ready for sex one night, instead of a PA? Plan in time to do this and who will help you — your PA or partner. Talk about what would suit both of your needs best. Also, plan for what will happen after sex.
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For example, will you need to go to the toilet again? Having tissues or a bottle next to the bed means the transition after sex will be less clunky.
Could your partner sit on you? Can your hands be placed in position? Can your partner pleasure themselves? There are lots of options. Once again, aiming at intercourse may be just frustrating and there are plenty of other ways to enjoy sexual pleasure. As a wheelchair user, getting these in intimate places can be something you sometimes experience.