- Guys, would you have a massage therapist gf?
- Boundary Choices
- “Should I Ask Out My Hot Massage Therapist?”
I found this quite interesting. In my own practice, I don't encourage tipping I suggest clients put the money toward coming in more often so we both benefit , but I honestly can say I never felt unethical accepting a gratuity if the client felt like providing one.
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When trying to expand my understanding of the issues raised, I did a Web search of "sex with clients" and found that almost all of the hits involved attorneys having sex with clients! I was expecting a raft of information on psychologists and social workers and medical practitioners, but if Web articles are a measure of the size of a problem, lawyers are the front-runners. In actuality, many of the comments about this situation made distinctions between the various professionals in client relationships, but my thought is that it's the similarities that are more striking for purposes of this issue.
Because the client invests the massage therapist with a great deal of power and authority, the massage therapist has a unique ability to influence the client and a corresponding responsibility to refrain from any action that would harm the client. The power imbalance and confidence given to the massage therapist as a professional might extend to confidence in the massage therapist as a person as well.
It's this vulnerability of the client and corresponding power imbalance that necessitates a clear approach to the issue of professional-client sex. In my mind, the "cooling off" periods of time after breaking off a therapeutic relationship should not govern a therapist's private sexual relationships.
It governs whom the therapist can see professionally. Therapists who wish to pursue a sexual relationship with a client can refer the client to another therapist or postpone the personal relationship until the professional relationship is completed. As further example of this, in the same state as the cited massage therapist, physicians and nurses not involved in psychotherapy have no specific time limits for relationships with former patients, but physicians must discuss ramifications and cease treatment. It would seem unnecessary that massage therapists would have stricter rules.
In the many blogs and chat groups picking up this story, some of the more clever comments that caught my eye are:. And perhaps my favorite of all: So, I have no answers here, but lots of rhetorical questions: Where should the line be drawn between ethics and regulation? Are there "circumstantial" ethics? My bottom line here is to remember the importance of good boundaries, and to make sure you know the applicable laws in your practice area. Professional association membership and a recurring study of professional ethics as continuing education can go a long way to avoiding needless legal complications.
Massage Today encourages letters to the editor to discuss matters related to the publication's content. Letters may be published in a future issue or online. Please send all correspondence by e-mail to clifflmt mpamedia. Differentiating Qi Under the Needle In the marketplace, we hear of dry needling being talked about more and more. As professional practitioners of Chinese medicine and acupuncture, it is important that we do not lose sight of our passion, purpose and belief in what we are doing, both for the sake of preserving the full practice of acupuncture and Chinese medicine, and for the sake of our patients.
News in Brief Dr. James Badge, former president of the National Board of Chiropractic Examiners who, among other accomplishments, played a key role in the development of the board's Practice Analysis of Chiropractic a report issued every five years and based on a survey of the profession , passed away on Nov. Quantum Physics Research and the Ancient Roots of Acupuncture Acupuncturists and quantum physicists have a lot in common. They are both working in fields that are rooted in an inter-connected universe.
According to traditional Taoist cosmology everything in the universe is connected to everything else — nothing is separate. The Four Needle Technique: More Than a Training Exercise The squat movement pattern is not only essential for ADLs; it is considered a foundational exercise for strength, resiliency and sport performance.
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Oftentimes our exchanges leave him laughing so hard he has to pause the massage. We give each other book, TV, and music recommendations, and I even wrote about him in my blog — twice — and he loved my writing. Seeing him is one of the highlights of my month. For the record, if it matters, he left his ex-wife after many years of feeling emasculated and unappreciated. At that time, he was understandably not looking to date anyone. Now, more than a year later, he says that he is starting to feel more ready to date again.
This past week, he was so wrapped up in conversation with me he forgot to take my payment for the massage and I had to remind him. Bonus points — I know he loves dogs because he has a yellow lab who hangs out with him at the massage studio — and he even trusted me enough to let me walk him around the neighborhood while he was massaging a friend of mine. A genius dreamboat who loves dogs! Thank you so much, again, for any advice!
Gurrrl, ask him out! He sounds interested, and what do you have to lose? Oh wait, a great massage therapist, I guess. But there are others! From there, just let nature take its course. Follow along on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.
Guys, would you have a massage therapist gf?
GatorGirl June 17, , 4: So no, massages do not turn me on. I have super tight muscles and always get deep tissue massages which hurt like hell. So getting turned on would be almost impossible for me. I usually get deep tissue massages, so definitely not a turn on. I do end up feeling like I was a hit by a train afterwards though.
Boundary Choices
As a massage therapist, I can tell you that this does not happen that often. Many of us and ALL of the therapists I know , also have zero tolerance for jokes about this happy endings and such. I get that people like to giggle about this stuff, but to me, it comes down to a safety issue — would you want to worry about your friend, sister, partner, whatever being sexually harassed or worse while trying to administer a therapeutic treatment?
In office settings with other people right outside the door. This sounds like a lecture! You make really good points. Sorry if I insulted you, but I am really surprised that you say its uncommon actually, I was surprised yesterday too. You are a cool person — not a jerk, I promise! Yeah, I would assume if he works for a spa rather than being an independent business owner there are likely rules about fraternizing with customers. LW June 17, , 4: LW here — he is an independent business owner.
Do as Wendy said and ask him for a drink, or coffee, or tea, or protein shake, or green juice, or, IDK, sex. Go for it then.
“Should I Ask Out My Hot Massage Therapist?”
Start with something like coffee or a smoothie. Cassie June 17, , 8: If the show friends has taught me anything, it is that there is a code. But I think is more where the line of prostitutes come in. WWS… Just bring up extending the conversation somewhere else. Marcie June 17, , 4: If he says yes get another massage therapist. Free massages for all DWers! Miss MJ June 17, , 4: John June 17, , 4: People will be extra nice to you if you are paying them money.
You have nothing to lose by asking him out-maybe he thinks of you that way. You seem to be going down that same path. LW June 17, , 8: Sue Jones June 17, , 5: Unless you are totally willing to find another massage therapist because it would most likely ruin your relationship. You have a professional relationship, and since he is most likely a licensed health professional, he is not allowed to go out with you.
There are strict professional rules about this stuff. Basically, if you would not ask out your psychologist or counselor or therapist which I suggest you most certainly do not! Especially one who touches you in a professional way. And I would suggest you start seeing a FEMALE massage therapist immediately since if you are heterosexual, you would be able to keep the relationship therapeutic. Lucy June 17, , 6: So, you need to decide if you are willing to permanently give up this man as your massage therapist in order to date him. Katie June 17, , 6: Oh I thought that it was just like known information the LW would have to find a new massage therapist.
SasLinna June 17, , 7: If LW goes ahead, then she has to expect at the very least that it will have been her last massage with this therapist. Lily in NYC June 18, , 9: I have a friend who is a massage therapist and ended up marrying one of her clients.