- Avatars and Second Life adultery: A tale of online cheating and real-world heartbreak
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The only advice I can really give is to trust her and have faith. If the two of you were meant to be together, then you will. This separation may even strengthen your relationship. Take things slow and see what happens. Just be thankful that she is considering a second chance. Best of luck, — Anne. More "Ask Anne" View Columnists. For those seeking addiction treatment for themselves or a loved one, the MentalHelp. Our helpline is offered at no cost to you and with no obligation to enter into treatment.
With that in mind, would you like to learn about some of the best options for treatment in the country? Need help breaking free from addiction? It comes as no surprise, then, to learn that a woman is divorcing her husband after catching him having an online affair. It also featured the extraordinary transatlantic tale of Carolyn, a wife and mother of four from the United States, who became so obsessed with her Second Life relationship that she grew increasingly estranged from both her longsuffering husband, and her angry, confused children.
Carolyn has red-blonde hair and is pretty in a homely way, dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt. Her online lover comes from England and is a terrifying, dark-skinned hunk with multiple face-piercings and no shirt. By way of explanation, Caroline told her daughters that her avatar was like Barbie and her boyfriend was just like Ken, albeit that in this X-rated version Ken happens to own an arsenal of AK47s.
Meanwhile, husband Lee, an insightful, sympathetic man, was desperate to reclaim his wife from her virtual infatuation, and hovered helplessly in the background in a state of near despair. I just want her back. People are more trusting and form deep attachments — hence concerns about young people using chatrooms, where they can fall prey to adult agendas.
In an environment like Second Life, where your avatar can engage in any behaviour you choose — including sex — many people get carried away. But not everything necessarily goes to plan in Second Life.
Yet despite the break-up — or perhaps because of it — she decided to fly 5, miles to London to see if the relationship could be rekindled offline. Elliott came across as quite creepy. His reaction when an apple-pie mom appeared on his doorstep was muted, to say the least. Why do you think there were higher divorce rates anyway? My previous statements were not intended to question or to imply negativity on couples who are married in RL.
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If you can snap out of from SL life the moment you switch off your computer, then you are just an actor playing house with someone in Second Life. But if the feeling lingers and you couldn't wait to come back online just to be with her Are you for real? Then you have my complete devotion as the real person behind the avatar and be ready to accept the real me I'm not easy to fall in Love with.
I'm a very demanding, PITA, confusing fantasy lover. Now Randall, do you have anything more to dissect from me? Too many people use the word 'Love' too loosely in SL - some will even swear they mean it in a 'RL kind of way' when in truth they are just 'experimenting'. Treat everything and everyone as totally superficial unless you are given due cause to think otherwise - and even then be careful.
And yes it is possible to make deep, meaningful relationships and friends in SL, sometimes it can even be the beginning of love. As such the pain that we can feel when we lose a friend or someone special because they 'return to RL' without us, can be just as real as any pain in RL. But it is my experience that people who have never felt that tend not to believe it - in that way SL really is just like RL.
Be gentle with yourselves people I'm going to have to be the one not singing along to the tune with the rest of you.
Avatars and Second Life adultery: A tale of online cheating and real-world heartbreak
It's impossible to caluculate because, as each individual will be more or less open and honest, more or less self-aware and thus able to be truthful about him or her self , but the degree to which a person represents their true being in a VR will vary enormously. Some, knowing themselves very well - and happy within themselves - will make sure what comes across is as close to reality as is possible, considering the limits of the medium.
Some will project what they truly believe is what the are - but will be totally off-target. Others will be willfully inventing a persona to project. And that's the crux of the matter - the guy you lurve quite possibly doesn't exist.
In which case, what you think you love is a combination of him inventing a character and your projection of your ideal luvver. On the very rare occasion in which it does work, by some miracle, two very honest, insightful, self-analytical human beings have found one another. Otherwise, it's pure illusion. The fact remains, that many are in love with the idea of being in love and being able to benefit from having youthful, beautiful bodies and faces without bad breath, smelly feet, wrinkles and spare tyres round the tummy, who spend their time together flitting around magical and surreal lands, with no boring routine stuff to do - like wash dishes, do laundry, wash the car - is fuel to the illusion.
I've said it before - if I really believed I'd met my soul-mate, I'd move it into real-life pronto and not waste time trapped in a VR. I've also said this before - I've lost count of the people who have told me that they really, really love their gal or guy to bits but when asked if they know one another's real name and address, reply: He could be an axe-murderer!
Share your SL love stories:) - Lifestyles and Relationships - SecondLife Community
Wow such good story's and experiences so far! And Happy Mothers Day to all you Mothers! I have friends in SL, and have 'bounced the bunny' a few times when I was more of a noob and thought it was very funny. And I don't do it because once you get that kind of emotions involved the barrier between RL and SL becomes impossibly thin. By intent much of the time. I just feel more comfortable imagining them as their avatar and keeping my relationship to them through the medium of our avatars rather than bridging the barrier. When I did MMOs for a time, and faced 'voice' pressures there, I would only join in when I could disable my mic - and for me it was more distracting than useful as I could never tell who was saying what.
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I preferred knowing the people as some giant minotaur with magic spells rather than some gal in Minnosota who kept saying 'don'cha know eh? Love is the only energy in creation that violates the rule of physics where nothing can be created or destroyed.
Hate burns calories and consumes energy - it is tiring to hate. Hate may have an ever growing hunger, but it needs fuel to feed that hunger. Love is -NOT- the opposite of hate. Love creates energy and is refreshing, enriching, and lifegiving. Passion can be hates polar twin - its a firey energy that consumes and takes energy, but eventually burns out when it runs dry on fuel.
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Love never runs out. You can lose it, you can let it go, you can throw it away - but it can also sustain itself forever with nothing put into it but itself, and can grow and in fact give back more energy that it takes in. Love is where a positive relationship that lasts through a years finds itself, if it did not start there. I wish I could remember the author of this quote. It came from a book given to me by a real life friend. It went something like this and I'm sure most of you have heard this already times:. They are not real to me.
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And I'll add to the list: Second LIfe friends help you "kill time". They are like friends I might make while on vacation. Tomorrow I may find out they have disappeared without a trace.