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Sure, this is an obvious realization, but we still manage to skirt over it. Treating them like damaged goods is never okay. As with anyone new, you want to be appropriate, polite and kind. When they want to talk about their last relationship and share with you, they will.
They know how to be a girlfriend or boyfriend and that instinct automatically kicks in. Their ex might still be in their life and the only way to approach that is to trust them. If they say nothing is going on, assuming otherwise will just end up adding unnecessary strain.
Spend time together one-on-one instead of rushing them out to meet all your friends at a crowded bar. Be open to them needing to go slower, but make your expectations clear. They are just starting to figure out their new routine without their ex and that can be a lonely process. It takes a lot of time to separate two lives that have been connected for so long. Before you go any further, you have to ask yourself why you want a girl who is already spoken for.
Attracting a Girl with a Boyfriend | A Guide for Guys
With over three billion women in the world and not a few of them living within 50 miles of you , what makes this one so special? If you have a compelling answer to that question, then there might be a good reason to pursue her. Going after a woman who is already attached comes with a few built-in problems.
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To start, her breakup — even if wants the relationship to end — will be difficult and painful for everyone involved. It might even be too painful for her to be with anyone in the short term.
How to Date a Girl who has a Boyfriend
So while she might be interested now, or six weeks from now, she could easily change her mind. This might be rational or irrational, likely or unlikely — but the fear just might linger. Here, as in most relationship challenges, sharing your concerns and discussing them openly will be essential. But it can also lead to some nasty residual fears.
The quality of her character — what kind of person she is — should guide your feelings about her post-break-up. So given these risks, ask yourself this: That should be one of your guiding questions: Once again, your motivations will help you examine the ethical aspect of chasing a girl with a boyfriend. You should, however, think long and hard about the implications of inserting yourself into a toxic relationship and dating someone who would enter one. But getting involved in a toxic relationship is also a bit like a quicksand pit.
The harder you try to get her, the more enmeshed you become in her toxic relationship, which saps your energy and makes it harder for you to be a strong, healthy person. In the latter, you need to seriously consider your reasons for chasing her — and determine whether you both want to pursue this relationship. If you feel that you must be with this person, and — this is essential — the feeling is clearly mutual that is, she feels about you the way you feel about her, and you both want to be together , then you can and should go for it.
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But ethically speaking, two self-aware adults choosing to be with each other despite any previous attachments is a reasonable ground upon which to build a relationship. But there also strong reasons not to pursue an attached woman. If a girl is in a relationship that makes her happy, why would you want to break it up?
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Again, we return to the question of motivation. There are excellent reasons to be friends with women, and — as we often say on the podcast — female friends are essential to a well-rounded social life. So consider the practical and ethical considerations here.
We can only share the right questions to ask so you can make sound decisions for the long term. Your abundance mentality — the mindset that there are tons of women out there who you could start a relationship with — is going to help you maintain the perspective and attitude you need to get a girl with a boyfriend to fall in love with you.
But your abundance mentality is part of a bigger picture.
You need to put yourself first when wooing anyone, especially a girl who already has a boyfriend. In practice, that means having time for her only when you actually have time for her. The best and most attractive thing you can offer her right now is your strength and independence from her situation.
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Running every time she says she needs you to erode that strength and independence. But you can always do a little more to deepen the connection you already have and push it toward romantic love. That, more than anything, will give her a compelling reason to be with you.