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- Into the Minds of Devotees & Admirers of Women with Disabilities
If a girl really likes guys with dark hair, does she have sex with every dark-haired man on the planet? It HAS to come up. So better to consider and be prepared when it does. And if only they would just ask!
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And be willing to address and discuss these concerns instead of being super nice to me and than vanishing without a trace. The more things are discussed, the easier they become to discuss. They will be a turn-on! For example, whatever a guy does in the bathroom is his business. Actually, I did say that in another part of this post! I am not interested in any bathroom business either and for some reason people do like to send really gross messages on that subject a lot. It is a neutral thing for me, not a turn-on, but not a turn-off either.
I, too, have been bombarded with bathroom comments and discussions. I think it must be for some guys that I might be the first person who they think can deal with the discussion?? I hate when guys use that as a test. I say, yes I can handle it, but could we not go straight to the gross stuff? Well, being a guy, I thought I might have some other perspective on this. Turns out no, not really. Probably too easy for the wool to be pulled over ones eyes at first. Fits to a T.
But yes, totally agree with wanting the best for my partner, even at the expense of the attraction. I really do want to be partners with someone who is disabled. I tried to write the post to work for a male or female dev perspective, sounds like I did pretty well! Oh as opposed to being a creep? Ergo — I must be a creep. Or so I thought. I do worry about it when contacting girls though. I hope that being vocal about the prejudice against us will do some good in the future. Thank you, Ruth, for this piece. It would be such a balm to my heart to know that a man was turned on by the aspects of my body that have caused me such worry, that he craves me the way that I am, not the way that I wish I could be.
I have really struggled with these ideas and have been more than a little hesitant to get involved. Hi there, Geek Guy. Why do some people prefer a particular hair color? We have odd social rules, some written and others not. And just like the girl with the boobs he likes, whatever he says and how she responds are highly variable and depend upon the individual as well as how they happen to be feeling at the moment.
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Just like any other attraction, the thing that initially stimulates interest is typically temporal, and is quickly replaced by the personality and personal interactions. They will not much care whether or not you are a blonde within a short period, they will care whether you are a person they like. I recently had a realationship with a devo. We all have some kind of fantasy that really gets us going.
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Jus want to know moe about this. Hey Ruth, just discovered this and really delighted to read about the perspective of being a dev from a female side. But it does rule out a large segment of the dating market for them. Anyways, thanks for bravely taking the subject into the public realm. I have a lot of compassion for male devs, I know you guys face even more suspicion, fear, and hatred than we female ones do.
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What is it they think we are going to do? Really a disabled person and a dev together form a perfectly symbiotic relationship. The key, I think, is to find a partner who is comfortable with her or his body as it is. When people are uncomfortable with disability, then they are also uncomfortable with people who find it attractive. I keep it simple and use examples that they can relate to. I find that attraction works on three layers for me: Sometimes the fear stems from the thought that a dev wants to control the other person, or torture them for pleasure, or some crazy idea like that.
So where exactly do you find these mythical males? It seems as though these people liked helping the other person, they liked the fact they were needed, and they felt safe. Some had cared for someone growing up, and they were comfortable with that. The apparent vulnerability is attractive to both devos and admirers. Devos like to dominate but admirers are less sinister, dare I say, insecure?
The confidence level of these admirers is generally pretty low.
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- Into the Minds of Devotees & Admirers of Women with Disabilities – Wheelchair Accessible Living.
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Many of them would self-deprecate without even realizing it. Ironically many of them pointed out they liked intelligent, assertive women with disabilities. However, when I read a devo erotic story they portrayed her as independent, but very insecure. The devo character would reassure her often and she was grateful for his attention.
Reading the story made me realize more than anything , some of these people are just desperate for love and a connection. They yearn to be needed, appreciated, and indispensable. I talked with a woman who had relations with a quad she was caring for, and she pointed out that she felt safe with him.
She went on to explain her years of sexual abuse as a child, and it just made sense. Why is it woman are the only ones we assume need to feel safe? I think many of these men have the same basis for their emotions, many men have been emotionally or physically abused by women as children. A lot of these guys are rescuers. T here are also a small group that are disabled themselves.
They expressed comfort in a partner that shared the same issues.
Into the Minds of Devotees & Admirers of Women with Disabilities
Many of them have rational reasons for their abnormal behaviors. This is where it gets interesting. I suspect we think it weird because society has desexualized disabled people. People with disabilities have practically no sexual portrayal in media, just try and imagine the last time you saw Hollywood portray a disabled individual as a sex symbol?
Have we created the shame? The obsessiveness and lies are concerning. One of these guys found me in his teens over 10 years ago on Myspace, and he continues to follow me now at Do they really think that works?
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