- I swapped apps for dating in real life – this is what happened
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I swapped apps for dating in real life – this is what happened
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Back then, the dating app world felt new and exciting. Sure, we knew about matchmaking sites where people spent hours filling out pages of specific read: But using our phones to simply swipe our way to potential love?
Well, that was game-changing, and millennials everywhere, including me, signed up, adding a couple of selfies and an Arctic Monkeys lyric to our bios. But first, I needed a plan.
Top 15 Most Popular Dating Websites | January
Speaking to a few experts to work out how to go about making myself look "available", dating coach Hayley Quinn told me to not look "busy". In other words, ditch the headphones and put my phone away.
And how would I know if somebody was single? Watch them for a few minutes to make sure they're definitely on their own, then go say, 'Hey'. James suggested I try talking to guys in bookshops. I love books and, as he pointed out, bookshops offer a calmer space to start a conversation than a packed Tube. But it was terrifying. And even though a couple of guys responded positively, I was unable to transition smoothly from "off-hand comment" to "breezy flirting".
I left the shop with zero phone numbers and more titles to gather dust on my shelves. Outside of shops, I felt just as lost with conversation starters. And although James suggested I ask for directions or pay them a compliment apparently men get less, so they mean more , I seriously struggled to compliment a guy on his shorts. Not only did the energy to make the first move zap the follow-up conversation, the lingering awks factor felt far worse than a no-swipe back.
I found myself walking through London "mentally" swiping yes or no to everyone who sauntered past me. Undeterred, I moved on to my next challenge: I took my housemate, Charlie, to a boozy mini-golf night.
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Our inevitable unsuccessful attempts had us all in hysterics. Although I was still nervous, after that initial approach, chatting to Rob note not Harold, as I'd guessed quickly felt as easy as talking to a mutual friend at a house party.
We exchanged numbers and have been chatting ever since. I pictured professional, like-minded Londoners who'd signed up because they were too busy to go looking for dates, or perhaps even people who had "app fatigue", too. The awkward atmosphere of a party dedicated to the unlucky in love was downright painful. And while I tried chatting to another guy stuffing a burrito, he seemed more interested in the buffet than cracking on to me. This also meant I had to openly admit that I needed help with my love life, which was almost as scary as approaching strangers. After hours of double-blue-tick anxiety, one friend finally came through.