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- I am dating the boss's daughter and he is not happy about it! - relationship advice
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Well you know what Willlomo, he can have you fired. He can make your life miserable if he wants and he can give you a delightful letter of recommendation once you leave your job. He can have others promoted above you, he can make it really hard for you to get another job and he can give you sleepless nights because guess what, he's the boss and you're messing with the wrong person. If you want him to respect you although we can safely say that ship has sailed Stop treating your girlfriend like a sexual conquest and see her as someone's daughter.
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How would you like it if some upstart spoke this way about your younger sister? Would YOU tolerate that guy? Mark said exactly what I would tell you. Tread very carefully young man. Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? I am dating the boss's daughter and he is not happy about it!
Dating , Family , Friends , Troubled relationships. Add your answer to the question "I am dating the boss's daughter and he is not happy about it! The implicit threat to his job is there so he can't just say them to go to fuck themselves. He should consider a lawsuit for sexual harassment, though.
I think he is in his own mind trying to do the right thing, but I agree, In his position my wife would have been informed pretty quick. A life lesson I learned is work is work and thats what it is. The OP has let this go on so now he is going to ruin his promotion prospects and damage his relationship with his girl, first thing she will say is why havent you told me about this? You cannot be this naive. If on the off chance you are, consider how you would feel if your girlfriend went on a date with another guy who'd been relentlessly pursuing her and she didn't tell you a word about it in hopes that it would make his interest die down.
Would you feel good about this, would you believe such nonsense? If you want to date boss's daughter, then do the right thing and break up with your girlfriend before going on this date with boss's daughter. If you want to stay with your girlfriend then be an adult and tell both boss and his daughter NO in assertive terms so there is no misunderstanding or confusion of interest on their parts. If you've presented to them as flakey as you have just in this post, I can see why they think boss's daughter might have a shot and that you aren't too serious or concerned about your girlfriend.
Your daughter is making my job difficult with the constant pursuit. I know I have mentioned my girlfriend in passing, but I don't think you realize A. I need you to stop pushing me to date your daughter, and get her to leave me alone. To be very honest, I am getting to the point where I am considering finding another job, and I don't want to do that. I love working here, but this is causing me quite a bit of stress.
It sounds like you have been tiptoe-ing around the issue, rather than actually addressing it. You mention how she's high maintenance and whatnot before you say you have a girlfriend. You do say "above all else" but you don't write it like that. If she wasn't high maintenance, would you dump your gf for this girl? Your refusal to set firm boundaries with that girl or be honest with your gf is really disconcerting.
I am dating the boss's daughter and he is not happy about it! - relationship advice
She deserves better than that. Also if you seriously think a double date would help your situation, you are a bonehead. I personally think you just want to dip your toe in the water with the other girl who you are more interested in than you'd like to admit. Maybe you should read your own post again because you talked about finding her attractive and liking other things about her. As if those things are at all relevant when you are in a happy relationship. There is an HR department, but he's one of the founders so I don't think they would do anything.
So HR is to protect the company. If he and his daughter are harassing you on company grounds despite you repeatedly saying no. You could sue for sexual harassment. You should go to HR to have a documented path of evidence of harassment. You need to talk to them, regardless. Keep a paper trail. HR will be able to tell him to keep his daughter away from you and, if they don't, you have a record of having complained. If you get fired or punished for continuing to deny her, you have a clear precedent for a lawsuit.
HR takes these kinds of things very seriously, no matter who is involved. In fact, it's often the retaliation that gets companies in trouble more than the actual offense. Tell your girlfriend what's going on. God forbid the other woman decides to get even more aggressive and your poor girlfriend gets the wrong impression. Have you told them you've been dating someone for over a year? Next time someone mentions this to you say the following: I've been dating a great woman for over a year and we're very happy together.
If you and your girlfriend's positions were switched, and there was a man she was attracted to coming onto her like this, her bosses son, etc, what would you want her to do? Is it what you have been doing? Tell your gf so she isn't aware of what's happening. It's important both for the trust in your relationship and so that she's prepared in case this creep girl comes after her. Then you ask for your gfs help. Take a lot of couple-y photos together.
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Use them as your new lock screen, screen saver, a framed photo on your desk. Buy yourself a mug with a corny love message and bring it to the office and tell everyone that sure it's silly but it's from your gf so of course you're going to use it. Occationally bring up that how great your gf is and how happy you are to be with her. Maybe have your gf come pick you up after work and say hi to your coworkers. Make sure your boss sees and hears this. Your boss might want to set you up with his daughter, but he might not be ready to break up a happy couple to do it. It's not the most direct approach, but it sends a clear message.
Also, could you perhaps talk to the son. He might be able to get his dad to back off if he knew it bothered you. I really like the idea of the pictures. This sounds strange, but how about wearing a wedding ring. If boss asks tell him that it's a sign of commitment to your girlfriend. It sounds like your boss likes you enough to want you as a son in law. In any case, you do need to be direct and end it. Send your boss an email so there's a paper trail that kind of says something like: But as it is, I'm in a relationship right, and even if I weren't, I don't think it's a good idea to mix dating and business.
At the end of the day, she's my bosses daughter, and I would hate to let our professional relationship as well as our friendship be at risk. I hope you can understand my position.
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I would leave out the circumstances being different part. Could open him up to more of a headache if he and his girl break up later. Don't say "if circumstances were different I would definitely be interested" - all they'll hear is "I'm interested, try harder to change my circumstances". He has said several times he would love it if I would officially become part of their family someday. Just deflect with something like a joke that doesn't involve dating his daughter. He wants you to join their cult of nepotism and power. In past times among those in power a lot of energy was expended in setting up just the right marriage alliances.
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In the current times the people who have power still want to get everything they desire but there are less formal lines of forging alliances. You've passed the tests. You're skilled in the family business. You're a decent person who they trust. The father and the son both approve of you. If they tie you to them through the daughter they have both adopted you into their clan in order to share some of their power with you AND hold a more personal power over you by making sure that your success in their world is contingent upon their satisfaction with you. If you fuck up divorce can happen and you can be ex-communicated and probably financially ruined.
If you toe the line and give Daddy everything he wants and allow him to steer your entire life then you're still a part of the webs of power and keep the benefits of that. This is some scary shit, man. You've already said these people are used to getting what they want. If you give them any excuse that hints "if circumstances were different" do you trust them not to do what they're used to and use their power to ruin your current relationship?