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They then narrow down the search by filtering prospects using criteria such as gender, ZIP code, race, religion, marital status and whether or not a person is a smoker. Users filter through the results themselves, deciding on their own which prospects to pursue. The services then assemble a personality profile and use that against an algorithm that ranks users within a set of predefined categories; from there, the system produces a list of appropriate matches. Some sites take a hybrid approach. The technology that powers these dating sites ranges from incredibly simple to incredibly complicated.

Unsurprisingly, eHarmony has one of the most sophisticated data centers.

The process requires just under 1 billion calculations that are processed in a giant batch operation each day. These MapReduce operations execute in parallel on hundreds of computers and are orchestrated using software written to the open-source Hadoop software platform. To that end, the architecture is designed to scale quickly to meet growth and demand peaks around major holidays. The core architecture of the system consists of five front-end Web servers and a large, back-end SQL Server database, plus a variety of servers that handle messaging, marketing and other functions. The matching process is immediate.

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On the other end of the spectrum, Plentyoffish. The service focuses on searching and filters: The business operates on just three Web servers, five messaging servers and five database servers the entire database is just GB in size , yet it serves up billion pages a month to some 12 million users.

Yahoo Personals uses all of the information at its disposal to tailor its sales pitch to the user. Some of that feeds back into the matching process, but it also helps eHarmony persuade users to subscribe to its service. Once users have paid for a subscription, online dating sites offer different tech-driven options for contacting and getting to know prospective dates, everything from chat rooms to instant messaging, e-mail and even video chat.

The idea is to make users of the site comfortable with each other, but sometimes the technology just gets in the way, or backfires, users say. Mary explains the situation more plainly: Some sites try to police that.

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Perhaps the most innovative communication method is virtual dates in a 3-D world. One company, OmniDate, offers an avatar-based virtual dating system that acts as a kind of front end to existing online dating sites and is developing a new version for rollout later this spring that will use photo-realistic avatars. So far, few sites have adopted the technology. Frind at Plenty of Fish decided to pass.

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Mary, who says she has used most of the major services out there, worries about stalkers and fraudsters when visiting online dating sites — and for good reason. Iovation compilation of incidents from online dating sites using its security services. Keeping out the riffraff is a big headache for Plenty of Fish. The issue is such a large problem that Frind has spent more time writing programs to deal with undesirables than he did creating all of the other elements of the service.

Online dating sites use a variety of approaches to detect suspicious accounts. He looks for scammers who set up an account and blast e-mail messages to thousands of people, as well as for certain keywords and phrases that might indicate trouble. In addition to in-house tools, Essas says, the company has contracted with Iovation Inc.

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Other sites have been hesitant to embrace background checks. While they may be helpful as an introduction service, the jury is out on how effective they are at creating better long-term matches. Do the matching algorithms produce better matches that lead to long-term relationships? His suggestions focus on providing more meaningful information — more along the lines of what people typically exchange when they meet, such as the books they like to read and who their friends are. He also advocates virtual games as a way for people to get to know one another better.

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The key, he says, is being honest when filing out the profiles. To that end, he not only tried to be honest with himself, but recruited two friends to review his answers. He says the service pushed him to consider people just outside the boundaries he had set for criteria such as age and distance. Others have had less luck.

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