- Jehovah's Witness Dating Rules
- An international association providing support for those affected by the Watchtower Society.
- The Dating Game: How Jehovah's Witnesses Meet their Match - SPIEGEL ONLINE
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All I knew was that men wanted and needed sex. In my late twenties I started rebuilding my life.
Jehovah's Witness Dating Rules
I had a severe drinking problem by this time, and needed to sober up. In doing so, I learned about being human. I will never forget one conversation I had over coffee with a group of people while we were talking about my view of relationships. He went on to say that men had feelings and I was just breaking hearts, and how cruel I was.
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It never occurred to me that I was hurting anyone. Men only wanted sex, right? I needed to call a time out! To be honest, it was overwhelming and I had no idea where to start. After much whining, my friend challenged me. It took over six months for me to come up with a list of twenty-five things — not an easy assignment. Looks and money were not allowed. During this time while I was making lists and learning about myself, I was living in a no-date zone. I was learning about and setting up boundaries.
Dating no longer equaled sex the way it had before. I knew more about myself, I knew what I wanted, and I was no longer willing to settle for just anyone that came along. I became a happy single woman. I even enjoyed living alone. I met the man I am still with today during this blissful time in my life and while still on my honeymoon with myself, so there was no rush.
I felt no need to be with someone to fill a void in my life. I found him interesting and wanted to get to know him better. We have been together for sixteen years. I can also say that he hit twenty-four out of the twenty-five qualities that I wanted in a partner.
One is that the JW view of dating and sex can lead to warped and twisted thinking — that in turn leads to low self-esteem that can lead to harmful situations. Learn who you are and what you want and then move in that direction. The rest will fall into place. Mickey Hudson shares her story of growing up confused about relationships…. Growing Up JW and Female. This was a beautiful article and just what I needed at this point in my life.
I just left the borg 1 year ago and have been single for 12 years since leaving my abusive witness husband. It is difficult to re-enter the dating world being over 50 and not knowing what the world is about after being sheltered so long. Thank you for so eloquently opening my eyes to my value as a person. I am going to make the list you suggested of 25 things I like about myself and what I am looking for.
Can you please give me a link to this excellent article so I can use it on Yahoo Answers in Religion and Spirituality so it can benefit other people. It sure can be rough, but it can get better. I think the most important thing that happened was getting comfortable with myself. That was the hardest part, but once I got there, it was good. I feel sorry for all whose heart have hardened against the truth. And if you or any one you know had a bad experience with them I feel bad. But I was raised in the truth and I am not in the least confused about love or sex.
And their children are not brainwashed they grow up to be very intelligent adults that thrive in this crazy mixed up world. Please read some of the other responses to this article. I am glad that you are looking into things, and hope you continue to read information about the Watchtower. And considering their overall numbers are small in comparison to other religions then statistically their rates are high per capita.
An international association providing support for those affected by the Watchtower Society.
I was a JW for over 40 years and I saw many, many marriages where the couples absolutely hated each other. But the religion does not allow them any graceful way out. On many occasions the women just end up leaving their marriage and the religion. Yes they have lower divorce rates women and children are afarid. They have to go to the elders all men.
Why are they all men? Sounds like perverts bigs to. Oh boy, do I wish I had this information when I got married the first time. Micky is spot on! She puts it down in black and white exactly the way it is in the WT org! One of the best I have read on the subject. I often felt this way but articulated it so well. I never knew we could hurt men.. As a woman I have a right just like a man to be pleasured…if forced upon this is tape..
The Dating Game: How Jehovah's Witnesses Meet their Match - SPIEGEL ONLINE
Interesting, at our congregations it was the opposite. Women were presented as lazy, sex-starved nobodies who were all desperate for men so they could stop working and have babies. The men were presented as something very special and above all these lowly little sisters.
Strutting around like they were a grand prize we all lusted after, all of them assuming we single sisters were just waiting in the wings, praying they would look our way. Probably contributed to all the domestic violence I saw as well. God those people screwed me up big time, LOL! The lesson is still the same. Men are better, women are nothing. Like we are farm animals.
Dating sites for jehovah's witnesses
It does turn marriage into an ownership situation, a very cold institution. I think the misandry I learned as a JW is one thing I hate most of all. Look at all the wonderful, caring men out there, Bo Jensen, Bill Bowen, etc. I read an entry on jwstruggle today and he noted how elders are appointed based on how well they perform all the congregation duties, service, give talks, but how loving they are? Conditional love, cold marriages, cold people.
I love the way your seeing the different characters when it comes to LOVE! My partner is a JW.
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He has not been with a woman since his divorce 15 years ago and since that divorce has been very close both geographically and otherwise to his family who are very devout. He is less so due to some things that happened in the fellowship during his divorce. His views about sex and intimacy are an issue in our relationship, as well as the constant pressure to be married.
I absolutely respect that there are rules surrounding having sex outside of marriage, and also not living together etc. His attitude towards sex is very dismissive. For a while I thought he was just not that attracted to me physically. Anyway I am not sure how to address this. Any advice would be appreciated.
You cant deprogram him.
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They also teach that a husband has total authority over his wife. Your not being honest there…Witnesses encouraged men to treat their wives as the Christ loves the body.. I am not longer a Witness but there is no need to lie. The way you tell this part of your life is a complete match with mine.
I have 2 kids too, but I have found myself, and figured out who I am as a person, one who used to crush easily, to the complete opposite. I can chat with a guy but with no intentions of going any further!